Saturday marked the one-week mark in my care of the rotten little beast. This meant two things: one, that I was patient enough not to throw her in a stew, and two, her cage was getting stinky enough that it required cleaning.
So, after a nice, leisurely breakfast, I got around to cleaning the cage. I tried coaxing the beast out, but she just thumped her hind leg and cowered in a corner. So, I scooped. And, I scooped. And, I scooped some more.
Then, I hit the bunny pee mother lode and begged for God's mercy.
No such luck. So, I continued my scooping, chasing the bunny out of her corner. I tried to catch her, but she just hopped to another corner of the cage.
Rotten little beast.
After about 15 minutes of scooping, the cage bottom was just about bare, except for the occasional pellet and hay. And the beast.
I reached in the cage with my right hand and got her out of her corner. As she bolted for another corner, I snagged her with my left hand, secured her with both, then finally extracted the beast from her lair. I put her aside for a moment, and the beast had a mind to go right back into the cage. Luckily, I managed to close the cage before she could get back in.
So, the beast expressed herself by leaving a small, brown round little gift before hopping away.
Rotten little beast.
With that finished, I procured some wet paper towels to wipe down the bottom of the cage. I knew the beast was close by, ready to take any opportunity to return to her lair, so I made sure I blocked the entance completely as I cleaned.
Finally, it was time to put the fresh bedding/litter in the bottom of the cage. My friends left a little bit for me, but I didn't think it was enough to cover the whole cage bottom.
So, it was time to shop at the pet store.
But first, I had to return the beast to her lair.
You'd think that with the amount of effort it took me to extract the beast from her cage, she'd be anxious to return.
You'd be wrong.
I checked around the apartment, finding her underneath my kitchen table. So, I walked by the kitchen area, and she promptly hopped near her cage. I get her within about two feet of the cage, and she bolts back under the kitchen table.
So, I repeated as required. After about five minutes of shouting at the beast, she finally hopped back in her cage as I ambled after her. She got the last word with another mighty hind leg thump, though.
With the rotten little beast secure, I headed to the grocery store to pick up some veggies and then to the pet store to pick up her bedding/litter stuff and a wooden chew toy (for the beast, of course). As the cashier rung up my purchase, I of course had to tell my tale of woe about the beast and her urge to destroy.
The cashier sympathized, saying one of her rabbits destroyed her favorite shoes, which is why her rabbits now live outdoors.
There's a thought.
So, I got back home, and once again, the beast didn't want to leave her lair. So, I just chunked in the bedding around her, but some of it landed in the carpet in front of her cage.
Now, with a fresh cage and a new toy, the beast was sated. I, however, was aggravated by my toils.
Then I realized how I could get my revenge: more cleaning.
I have a pretty good vacuum cleaner. It's powerful, picks up lots of stuff, and it's loud.
So, I plugged in the vacuum cleaner, put it right in front of the cage, and hit the on switch.
The beast didn't like it.
She may have thumped, but I couldn't hear it above the vacuum cleaner.
This was the best cleaning ever.
Satisfied with the thorough apartment cleaning, I got ready to head out for the evening.
The beast then chewed on the cage bars, indicating she wanted to come out again.
So, on my way out, I walked toward the cage, reached for the door, then stomped my feet rapidly, scaring the beast back into her corner.
Rotten little beast.
26 June 2008
Gun control, the second amendment and self defense
Yesterday, the U.S. Supreme Court struck down a Washington, D.C. ban on handgun ownership.
About time.
Shortly after the decision, guns right groups filed suit against Chicago and San Francisco in an effort to overturn similar bans in those cities.
I hope those bans will be overturned in relatively short order.
My thought on the bans is that they really only benefit either criminals or those who would take more and more power away from people. Honestly, a government should be scared of a populace that's armed. Good. Let them be scared. Maybe that'll motivate those with power to use it responsibly.
Other thoughts: criminals by their very nature don't follow laws, so if they want to find anything illegally, they'll do so. A handgun ban doesn't benefit someone who's unable to defend himself against someone who's armed.
I'm sure there are many studies that can point out how gun violence was allegedly curbed by legislation. That said, gun violence in Chicago has gone up in recent years, and of course the city has banned handguns.
There are other reasons at work for increased violence, including the economy. Imagine that, folks being driven to commit crime when there isn't much money around.
It's a good day for personal liberty. Yay guns.
About time.
Shortly after the decision, guns right groups filed suit against Chicago and San Francisco in an effort to overturn similar bans in those cities.
I hope those bans will be overturned in relatively short order.
My thought on the bans is that they really only benefit either criminals or those who would take more and more power away from people. Honestly, a government should be scared of a populace that's armed. Good. Let them be scared. Maybe that'll motivate those with power to use it responsibly.
Other thoughts: criminals by their very nature don't follow laws, so if they want to find anything illegally, they'll do so. A handgun ban doesn't benefit someone who's unable to defend himself against someone who's armed.
I'm sure there are many studies that can point out how gun violence was allegedly curbed by legislation. That said, gun violence in Chicago has gone up in recent years, and of course the city has banned handguns.
There are other reasons at work for increased violence, including the economy. Imagine that, folks being driven to commit crime when there isn't much money around.
It's a good day for personal liberty. Yay guns.
23 June 2008
Housecleaning, potted plants and bunnies
Two friends of mine recently permitted me to adopt their rabbit. They'd recently adopted a rather large dog, and rather than allow the dog to turn the rabbit into a chew toy, they decided the rabbit should live somewhere else
So, I offered to adopt the bunny.
They brought the bunny and all its many things over on Saturday evening. They warned me that I needed to bunny-proof the apartment. I thought I was adequately prepared, but they thought otherwise.
The end result was they cleaned up my apartment to the point where it's the cleanest and most organized I've seen it in years. I can see the floor again.
Of course, they also didn't want the bunny to destroy my stuff, like papers and wires and such, so they were looking out for the bunny.
Mind you, after their organizing, I had trouble finding some stuff. Sure, it was a mess, but I could find just about anything I needed. I know where stuff is in my place, so why can't anybody else?
Right. Anyway, they also brought over a potted plant. The flowers on this thing look like a set of jaws from the creatures in the Alien films, so these folks thought I'd appreciate it. I suppose it's better to have something other than dust in here.
Now, to the rabbit.
Day one was relatively uneventful. I left the cage open for a long time, but she didn't want to come out. So, I resorted to bribery. I fed her some romaine lettuce, which she devoured with proper bunny glee. Then, I tricked her into coming out, leaving a small trail of lettuce to the cage door along with a few leaves propped on the door itself. She wanted the lettuce, so she hopped outside to eat it.
Upon realizing she was outside, she looked around a bit, standing up on her hind legs, then eventually exploring the hallway and the living room area. She hopped around the bed and near the kitchen area, then got a little scared and made a beeline back to her cage.
Late last night, I did laundry, and brought stuff back to the apartment to fold once it was dry. I left the cage open again for a while, and though it took her a bit, she did decide to come out and explore on her own, no bribery needed this time. It was only a quick hop-around, then she saw me look at her. I tried to pet her, and again she bolted for the cage.
Yay.
Today, I tried taking her out of the cage, drawing much protestation from her. She spent a total of five seconds outside the cage before hopping back in.
Great. Time for bribery again. Good thing I bought lots of lettuce.
So, I plopped some more romaine in her cage, and she perked up. I did the same trick as yesterday, and she again hopped out. This time, it seems like she's getting a bit more comfortable.
Again, she darted for the cage when I tried to pet her.
So, I finally went online this afternoon, and again, left the cage door open. I'm surfing the net, when I hear a jingle, then see the small furry beast hopping over here. Once again, I try to pet her, and again, she eludes me. Rotten beast.
A couple minutes later, I hear the jingle again, then look over by my bookshelf. There she is, hopping under the chair, going behind the cardboard cutouts of Kirk, Ivanova and Gollum. Then, I hear a rapid sort of puncturing sound, like cardboard being stabbed. Sure enough, she's resumed her interest in destruction. She chewed a small chunk of cardboard of Ivanova's back. After a bit of yelling and laughing from me, once again the rotten beast made her way back to her cage.
That cage door is closed now.
At any rate, if you want an accurate portrayal of the bunny thought process, I recommend watching Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit. That's what this little beast is like.
At least I have company, even though it destroys.
So, I offered to adopt the bunny.
They brought the bunny and all its many things over on Saturday evening. They warned me that I needed to bunny-proof the apartment. I thought I was adequately prepared, but they thought otherwise.
The end result was they cleaned up my apartment to the point where it's the cleanest and most organized I've seen it in years. I can see the floor again.
Of course, they also didn't want the bunny to destroy my stuff, like papers and wires and such, so they were looking out for the bunny.
Mind you, after their organizing, I had trouble finding some stuff. Sure, it was a mess, but I could find just about anything I needed. I know where stuff is in my place, so why can't anybody else?
Right. Anyway, they also brought over a potted plant. The flowers on this thing look like a set of jaws from the creatures in the Alien films, so these folks thought I'd appreciate it. I suppose it's better to have something other than dust in here.
Now, to the rabbit.
Day one was relatively uneventful. I left the cage open for a long time, but she didn't want to come out. So, I resorted to bribery. I fed her some romaine lettuce, which she devoured with proper bunny glee. Then, I tricked her into coming out, leaving a small trail of lettuce to the cage door along with a few leaves propped on the door itself. She wanted the lettuce, so she hopped outside to eat it.
Upon realizing she was outside, she looked around a bit, standing up on her hind legs, then eventually exploring the hallway and the living room area. She hopped around the bed and near the kitchen area, then got a little scared and made a beeline back to her cage.
Late last night, I did laundry, and brought stuff back to the apartment to fold once it was dry. I left the cage open again for a while, and though it took her a bit, she did decide to come out and explore on her own, no bribery needed this time. It was only a quick hop-around, then she saw me look at her. I tried to pet her, and again she bolted for the cage.
Yay.
Today, I tried taking her out of the cage, drawing much protestation from her. She spent a total of five seconds outside the cage before hopping back in.
Great. Time for bribery again. Good thing I bought lots of lettuce.
So, I plopped some more romaine in her cage, and she perked up. I did the same trick as yesterday, and she again hopped out. This time, it seems like she's getting a bit more comfortable.
Again, she darted for the cage when I tried to pet her.
So, I finally went online this afternoon, and again, left the cage door open. I'm surfing the net, when I hear a jingle, then see the small furry beast hopping over here. Once again, I try to pet her, and again, she eludes me. Rotten beast.
A couple minutes later, I hear the jingle again, then look over by my bookshelf. There she is, hopping under the chair, going behind the cardboard cutouts of Kirk, Ivanova and Gollum. Then, I hear a rapid sort of puncturing sound, like cardboard being stabbed. Sure enough, she's resumed her interest in destruction. She chewed a small chunk of cardboard of Ivanova's back. After a bit of yelling and laughing from me, once again the rotten beast made her way back to her cage.
That cage door is closed now.
At any rate, if you want an accurate portrayal of the bunny thought process, I recommend watching Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit. That's what this little beast is like.
At least I have company, even though it destroys.
21 June 2008
Was it Pure Genius?
We've known that the "middle east" has been oil-rich for most of the last half-century. When we discovered oil in Pennsylvania, then all over hitting a cache in Texas, things were cheap. Compared to the relative cost of everything, oil was cheaper than milk, and sometimes even water if one buys bottled.
At some point we started to forgo drilling in the U.S., and focused on getting supply from the "middle east." They have become prominent world players. As more people demand their oil, they can raise prices.
But at no point did we ever say we (the U.S.) ran out of oil. People started to think so, or take our non-drilling for granted. Falsehoods like the horrors of drilling in northern Alaska to the poor, defenseless Caribou (whose numbers have increased since the pipeline was installed).
During the 60s and 70s, we made a few mistakes. Not sarcasm, literally a few. Three Mile Island. An offshore platform oil spill. The danger was so great, they said, that pursuing these options were simply off the table. But the oil is STILL THERE. And do you think other countries are gonna care about our environment if they can drill 12.01 miles from American shores? You think we're in a national security risk now?
Only this time, instead of pulling it out of the ground for less than $20 per barrel, we could get over $100 or more. Speculative oil prices would drop. Gas would drop. Or maybe it stays high, we sell the oil and migrate to non-oil related energy, like... nuclear? There hasn't been a reactor issue since Three Mile Island in the U.S., and Chernobyl was built by a failing communist state. France is overflowing with nuclear power, and they've not had a reactor meltdown.
Whether you agree with offshore drilling or not, you must concede that drilling for the oil now or in the future has two massive upsides. 1) we could just simply hoard the oil and drop our own costs long enough to figure out a way to break away from oil, 2) if we're amongst the last oil producers, our economy would receive a boost from elevated oil prices, enough to cause ideological, radical muslim countries to give us back all the money we gave them when we weren't drilling our own oil.
Having nuclear would provide ample energy to increase domestic solar cell production (and dare I say... research?). Increased photovoltaic energy then could be used to allieviate the power grid to provide water refining and mass transport.
We're amongst the most ingenuitive nations on Earth. I will be giddy when we start acting like it.
At some point we started to forgo drilling in the U.S., and focused on getting supply from the "middle east." They have become prominent world players. As more people demand their oil, they can raise prices.
But at no point did we ever say we (the U.S.) ran out of oil. People started to think so, or take our non-drilling for granted. Falsehoods like the horrors of drilling in northern Alaska to the poor, defenseless Caribou (whose numbers have increased since the pipeline was installed).
During the 60s and 70s, we made a few mistakes. Not sarcasm, literally a few. Three Mile Island. An offshore platform oil spill. The danger was so great, they said, that pursuing these options were simply off the table. But the oil is STILL THERE. And do you think other countries are gonna care about our environment if they can drill 12.01 miles from American shores? You think we're in a national security risk now?
Only this time, instead of pulling it out of the ground for less than $20 per barrel, we could get over $100 or more. Speculative oil prices would drop. Gas would drop. Or maybe it stays high, we sell the oil and migrate to non-oil related energy, like... nuclear? There hasn't been a reactor issue since Three Mile Island in the U.S., and Chernobyl was built by a failing communist state. France is overflowing with nuclear power, and they've not had a reactor meltdown.
Whether you agree with offshore drilling or not, you must concede that drilling for the oil now or in the future has two massive upsides. 1) we could just simply hoard the oil and drop our own costs long enough to figure out a way to break away from oil, 2) if we're amongst the last oil producers, our economy would receive a boost from elevated oil prices, enough to cause ideological, radical muslim countries to give us back all the money we gave them when we weren't drilling our own oil.
Having nuclear would provide ample energy to increase domestic solar cell production (and dare I say... research?). Increased photovoltaic energy then could be used to allieviate the power grid to provide water refining and mass transport.
We're amongst the most ingenuitive nations on Earth. I will be giddy when we start acting like it.
12 June 2008
What Should Dan's New Car Be?
I believe in two conflicting statements: 1) you make your own luck (chance favors the prepared mind); 2) I have really bad luck.
I took my car in for an oil change. One week later, my brakes seize. I debate towing it to the dealer. I figure this is it, my car in it's death throes. I even start to research cars, preparing to finance for the new car.
I take it to a brake specialist, thinking "drop the bomb on me, it will be something like a pump that was only manufactured on Leap Day 2000 and will cost a few large to replace." The brake specialist tells me "uhh... actually, it looks like the vacuum line was yanked. Not broken, yanked."
My wife is pissed, and I'm somewhere between declaring war on this facility and writing a nasty letter.
In the meantime, I need to consider a new car. I can't have this heart attack every two months. Next major malfunction I gotta get a new car.
So... what do you think? A Prius? A hybrid Camry? Perhaps the "Hybrid" Escape? How about a Smart Car? Or something I'm not considering here? GM has not offered anything that catches my eye, the only thing I might come close to considering is a Buick Lacrosse.
Facts: I drive about 100 miles a day, this is unlikely to change for months, if not years. I do not require towing capacity, but may need to consider carrying more than 2 people in the next years. I (We) are also saving for a house, so nothing that's over the top. My trade in is worth virtually nothing. If non-sport electric vehicles were commercially available, I'd buy instantly; but the Prius is not the end-all-be-all to me.
I'd drive a Yugo or Pinto if it got 50 mpg. So... what say y'all?
I took my car in for an oil change. One week later, my brakes seize. I debate towing it to the dealer. I figure this is it, my car in it's death throes. I even start to research cars, preparing to finance for the new car.
I take it to a brake specialist, thinking "drop the bomb on me, it will be something like a pump that was only manufactured on Leap Day 2000 and will cost a few large to replace." The brake specialist tells me "uhh... actually, it looks like the vacuum line was yanked. Not broken, yanked."
My wife is pissed, and I'm somewhere between declaring war on this facility and writing a nasty letter.
In the meantime, I need to consider a new car. I can't have this heart attack every two months. Next major malfunction I gotta get a new car.
So... what do you think? A Prius? A hybrid Camry? Perhaps the "Hybrid" Escape? How about a Smart Car? Or something I'm not considering here? GM has not offered anything that catches my eye, the only thing I might come close to considering is a Buick Lacrosse.
Facts: I drive about 100 miles a day, this is unlikely to change for months, if not years. I do not require towing capacity, but may need to consider carrying more than 2 people in the next years. I (We) are also saving for a house, so nothing that's over the top. My trade in is worth virtually nothing. If non-sport electric vehicles were commercially available, I'd buy instantly; but the Prius is not the end-all-be-all to me.
I'd drive a Yugo or Pinto if it got 50 mpg. So... what say y'all?
11 June 2008
Things I've learned so far in the new job
It sucks having to ask someone to let me in or leave the room I work in every single time. My badge doesn't yet provide full access to the room.
It sucks having to show the contents of my bag to security every time I enter and exit the building. Not a big deal, just a nuisance.
One big company looks much like another. Red tape is a constant.
Don't ever leave my workstation without locking it. Doing so is a great way for the grizzled vets to save gay porn as my desktop image.
Free food is good, even if I have to drive to pick it up.
Expect to get a hard time at least until there's another new person on the shift.
Learn quickly what acronyms stand for (FNG=frakkin new guy).
Whistling The Final Countdown is contagious.
Sharing the joy of Powerthirst commercials is fun.
Make sure you get the really good chair.
Watch out for mousetraps.
Bring a flannel. They keep that room colder than my ex-girlfriends combined.
It's ok to communicate with someone via IM, even if they're sitting a few feet away.
Did I mention the locking of the computer?
Yep. Yay new job.
It sucks having to show the contents of my bag to security every time I enter and exit the building. Not a big deal, just a nuisance.
One big company looks much like another. Red tape is a constant.
Don't ever leave my workstation without locking it. Doing so is a great way for the grizzled vets to save gay porn as my desktop image.
Free food is good, even if I have to drive to pick it up.
Expect to get a hard time at least until there's another new person on the shift.
Learn quickly what acronyms stand for (FNG=frakkin new guy).
Whistling The Final Countdown is contagious.
Sharing the joy of Powerthirst commercials is fun.
Make sure you get the really good chair.
Watch out for mousetraps.
Bring a flannel. They keep that room colder than my ex-girlfriends combined.
It's ok to communicate with someone via IM, even if they're sitting a few feet away.
Did I mention the locking of the computer?
Yep. Yay new job.
03 June 2008
They Were.... Offended
I found out that I had done something in a meeting so unconscionable, so beyond the pale, that I couldn't be told what I did.
Let me explain.
I was in a meeting where I opened the meeting by saying "I am acting as nothing more than the secretary. I will write what you tell me. I cannot contribute, as I have no subject knowledge."
This was unacceptable to an individual at the meeting, who proceeded to ask me intermittently throughout the 5 hour meeting "what I thought" about what they were saying. For the first two hours, I responded politely. For the next two, I became exasperated answering the same question the same way. In the last hour, I committed my unforgivable sins of folding my arms in an unprofessional manner and rolling my eyes and answering with the same answer I had given for 4 previous hours.
That was enough to earn a report to their HR.
Their HR in turn has a policy that whenever someone complaints, they shield the identity of the complaintant and mete justice with passive-aggressive behavior. Good when it's a sexual harrassment complaint. Bad when it's any old complaint. It neutralizes my ability to apologize, or learn why in case, God forbid, I should want to fix my behavior.
Instead I was treated with a "you know what you did, and if you don't know, I'm not telling you." Not a snotty lover or partner- a #$%$^#@ CORPORATION!!!! But not from HR!!
When I was pulled into my project manager's office and asked why this would have happened, I honestly didn't know. I knew I was frustrated with insipid questions, but I didn't say or overtly do anything to anyone. He told me that I had, in fact, offended someone (cue 4-note chord in D minor).
Who did I offend? "I don't know."
What did I do to offend? "I don't know."
How did you find this out? "Person A was told by HR that someone involved with the project was offended."
"Normally, this is enough to get you kicked off-site, but I can't finish this project without you so that's not going to happen."
So, to recap: I heard fourth-hand (someone told someone else, who told yet someone else, who then told another person, who then told me) that I had committed the cardinal sin of offending someone and have no recourse, no manner of apology, and no way to know what happened.
It wasn't until many phone calls from our "in the know" contacts that I found it was because of "aggressive but not quite unprofessional body posturing" but that I still had no way to apologize. It also came out that the person would be embarassed to receive an apology.
This is the second time I've received this treatment in my life, and both of them in California.
Seriously people, you will not survive with skin that thin. You may be able to sing kumbaya in
your own freakin house where everyone gets along, and you may even get rid of frustrated people in your work and your life. That's when other frustrated people push you around in proxy and tell you to screw off because you won't fight back.
If this ever happens to you, that's how you know the only thing you will ever amount to in your pathetic life is being an obstacle. Obstacles never did anything worthwhile in their lives except create more obstacles. People like you are disdained and scorned for your uselessness. Capitulate and acquiesce to others who give a crap. It's not like you'll do anything else, anyway.
Let me explain.
I was in a meeting where I opened the meeting by saying "I am acting as nothing more than the secretary. I will write what you tell me. I cannot contribute, as I have no subject knowledge."
This was unacceptable to an individual at the meeting, who proceeded to ask me intermittently throughout the 5 hour meeting "what I thought" about what they were saying. For the first two hours, I responded politely. For the next two, I became exasperated answering the same question the same way. In the last hour, I committed my unforgivable sins of folding my arms in an unprofessional manner and rolling my eyes and answering with the same answer I had given for 4 previous hours.
That was enough to earn a report to their HR.
Their HR in turn has a policy that whenever someone complaints, they shield the identity of the complaintant and mete justice with passive-aggressive behavior. Good when it's a sexual harrassment complaint. Bad when it's any old complaint. It neutralizes my ability to apologize, or learn why in case, God forbid, I should want to fix my behavior.
Instead I was treated with a "you know what you did, and if you don't know, I'm not telling you." Not a snotty lover or partner- a #$%$^#@ CORPORATION!!!! But not from HR!!
When I was pulled into my project manager's office and asked why this would have happened, I honestly didn't know. I knew I was frustrated with insipid questions, but I didn't say or overtly do anything to anyone. He told me that I had, in fact, offended someone (cue 4-note chord in D minor).
Who did I offend? "I don't know."
What did I do to offend? "I don't know."
How did you find this out? "Person A was told by HR that someone involved with the project was offended."
"Normally, this is enough to get you kicked off-site, but I can't finish this project without you so that's not going to happen."
So, to recap: I heard fourth-hand (someone told someone else, who told yet someone else, who then told another person, who then told me) that I had committed the cardinal sin of offending someone and have no recourse, no manner of apology, and no way to know what happened.
It wasn't until many phone calls from our "in the know" contacts that I found it was because of "aggressive but not quite unprofessional body posturing" but that I still had no way to apologize. It also came out that the person would be embarassed to receive an apology.
This is the second time I've received this treatment in my life, and both of them in California.
Seriously people, you will not survive with skin that thin. You may be able to sing kumbaya in
your own freakin house where everyone gets along, and you may even get rid of frustrated people in your work and your life. That's when other frustrated people push you around in proxy and tell you to screw off because you won't fight back.
If this ever happens to you, that's how you know the only thing you will ever amount to in your pathetic life is being an obstacle. Obstacles never did anything worthwhile in their lives except create more obstacles. People like you are disdained and scorned for your uselessness. Capitulate and acquiesce to others who give a crap. It's not like you'll do anything else, anyway.
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