11 October 2008

The bunny chronicles: Mops, Gollum and a food dish

Ever since the rotten little beast has taken up residence in my apartment, we've had a certain ritual whenever I want to get her back in her cage. She normally hides out under my bed whenever she's out of her cage. My bedframe is on wheels, so I would move the bed back and forth. Eventually, the beast would emerge, hop about happily, and finally return to her cage.
Recently, I said to myself: "Self, this is too much effort. You have a mop. Just put it under the bed, and she'll go home."
Right.
So, I tried this. The beast thumped, and instead of hopping back into her cage, she went between her cage and my CD case. From there, I'd try to get her back in the cage, but she'd thump again, then run away, darting back under my bed.
The subsequent second through fifth attempts had the same degrees of success.
Frustrated, I moved the bed back and forth, and naturally the beast returned to her cage.
I was not satisfied with this. Moving the bed takes effort, more effort than I'm willing to spend to get the beast back home.
I needed another plan.
Fortunately, I have cardboard cutouts of Ivanova from Babylon 5 and Gollum from the Lord of the Rings films. In my revised effort, I placed the Gollum cutout right next to the beast's cage. I also placed the Ivanova cutout right next to the Gollum cutout, placing the Ivanova cutout on its side. This created roughly a 6-foot long barrier, blocking off the living room area of my apartment from my bed. This meant when the beast emerged, her only choices would be to either return to her cage or go to the front hallway. Once she was in the front hallway, there was no escape for her.
Once I had the barrier set up, I again took the mop and placed it under the bed, moving it along until finally, the beast emerged. She looked around for a bit, didn't see her usual escape routes, and returned to her cage.
Victory was mine!
Naturally, when the beast returned to her cage, she was angry at being thwarted. So, she chomped on her food dish and threw it around her cage even more than usual.
I had to do something about this. First off, she wastes food when she does this. Second, she makes a lot of noise when she does this. I don't like hearing so much noise.
So I said to myself: "Self, you have superglue. Why not glue the dish to the plastic shelf it sits in?"
Yesterday, I finally did that after cleaning the beast's cage. For those who are worried about the rabbit eating glue, I only used the glue on the surface that contacts the shelf, not on a portion that she normally grabs to throw the thing around.
After letting the glue set for a while, I put the shelf back in her cage. I filled it with pellets. Naturally, the beast tried to throw it right away, but the dish stayed in place.
Victory is mine!
Or so I thought.
Shortly before I went to bed last night, I looked at the beast, and she looked right back at me. Standing on her hind legs, she tugged at the dish twice, finally loosening it and removing it from the tray.
I was gonna need another plan.
So, I again glued the dish to the tray. I left it out of her cage overnight, thinking perhaps the glue needed some more time to do its work.
Upon waking up today, I returned the dish to her cage, and again filled it with pellets. Right away, she tried to throw it again, but was only able to move the tray upon which the dish was glued. The dish was staying put.
Victory is mine....?
Time will tell if my plan worked.
Rotten little beast.

::edit, 8:29 a.m. Central time::
I've returned home. First thing I noticed as I got in the door? The bunny's food dish....on the floor of the cage instead of in the shelf.
I need a new plan.

2 comments:

Lance said...

Nothing personal Bill, but if you decide to embed something important inside a bunny post, please accept the fact that I probably won't see it. ... if you decide to embed bunny observations inside an post about something important, that's another situation.

(sorry)

The Chronek said...

Uh....ok.