Life in California, A Visitor's Perspective

I hear this question all the time- "So, Dan, what's it like to actually live in California?"

(OK, I don't. In fact, I think I only got the question within the first three months of moving here one or two times.)

Actually, most of the people that ever asked me that question were Californians. Most of the time it was one of the first questions someone would ask me when they learned I was new here. I'm not sure if it was some kind of test required to get a tax reduction or what, but I got it alot. What I didn't get at first is why people would ask that question. Why should they care what I think about California? If I responded negatively, would it shatter their pre-conceived notions of living in California and influence them to leave. Actually, it was to gauge whether or not I 'fit in,' if I was one of those troublesome non-Californian Americans that wasn't vapid and obsessed with image.

Picture me in your mind's eye. Since exactly when have I ever been obsessed with image?
It doesn't take long to assess that I'm not a native creature or a good transplant. But hey, I'm still a good ol' consumer, so there's always going to be a place for me in a state that charges 9% sales tax. But you don't care about sales tax, and the stereotypical Californian image you can get from watching TV. You want to know about what it's like to live in California. So I'll tell you.
I live in the Bay Area, which is slightly north of the central coast of the state. The state is so big that it could easily be five states, and each would have a distinct, different attitude and way of thinking. Where I live is the most liberal place in the country, if not the world. There are references to socialism and communism everywhere, and it doesn't take too much to realize the people here don't like America much. Mind you, they're in no rush to leave, they just want everything to be socialist so that everyone can be as poor and miserable as they are. They substitute defiance for wisdom and embrace people that cause problems.

The eastern part of the state- the foothills of the Sierra Nevada and the mountains themselves- is a different beast than all of the California you see or hear on the news. They are the "red state" part of the state. Their land is hilly but plains-like until you get to the mountains. There's plenty of stunningly gorgeous nature there. It's second-most likely to rain here, and most likely to snow here. Lake Tahoe is attached, and all the skiing that goes with it. The businesses are rustic and occassionally provide the western image that one thought may have died out in the early 20th century. Not surprisingly, the people are very friendly there. It's odd to drive there because the roads can go for miles without stopping and you won't see houses or towns, possibly not even trees, just cattle grazing.

The northern part of the state reminds you of that Far Side cartoon where the dude is wearing a raincoat, a kid's pool floating toy, a boot on his head, and carries a bazooka with the caption that says "Nature's way of saying 'Do Not Touch.'" There's plenty of really interesting and beautiful things to see there, but I've never felt so uncomfortable being around the rural folk. Their yards are surrounded by 9 foot high fences, often with barbed wire, and showing signs that wish very nasty things happen to very senior members of the Executive Branch of our government. If it doesn't rain there alot, it frequently looks like it will. Most of the days up there are gloomy and overcast. There's more beautiful nature there, and it's not hard to understand why people would choose to live in a gloomy place- the forests alone are nearly zen-like in their ability to make you stop and appreciate nature.

The southernmost part of California- the part that's been mostly occupied by Mexico- is exactly what it appears to be. It's a desert, but it also has two of the larger cities in the country- LA and San Diego. Near the ocean, it's a paradise. It's never too warm, never rains, and is sunny almost every day. The people there are not all obsessed with image, just the ones that want you to notice them. The ocean water is mostly warm, and being the second largest city in America means you have all the things you could possibly want in comforts. Most of the people I've met that are from there are very easy going, don't get torqued up about much, and why should they- things are great there. It's not for everyone, though- remember the image thing- and some people leave saying "I'm so glad I'm not part of that scene anymore."

The central valley of the state is the blue collar, hard and dirty part of the state. Cities like Stockton, Fresno, Bakersfield, Modesto are nice, but in the center of a desert plain- flat, often smoggy, and HOT. Farms in every direction. You rarely hear of any good news from there. It's a place where people are from, but not where anything important seems to happen except crime. Nevertheless, they are brothers and sisters in this great state. You don't really intend to visit there; there's not much in the way of tourist stuff in this part of the state.

The last is the central coast. Ukiah to Pismo Beach, this is where the wildest weather in the country that I've ever seen is. There is usually a 40 degree temperature swing that occurs over a linear distance of 10 miles. On the coast it's cold and gloomy, with cold, gloomy ocean water and fog. Right on the coast there's a significant hill, and over that it's temperate and nice. Occasionally warm, but the fog rolls over the hill to cool it down . Over the next hill and you're in the desert plains. It's perfect for growing wine grapes, and no surpirse that's where all the wineries are. Most people that retire do so there, because the pace of life is slow and pressure is low. It's also got this ability to attract the people who like the weather but not the image, and as a result you get the people that are self-described as 'socially conscious.'

I've noticed that the people are roughly in three categories- one is the easy going, laid back Californian that surfs and says 'dude;' the second is the angry, active, and intolerantly liberal professional paranoid protestor whose eyes cross when they scream about something and hate bathing and fluoride; and the third is the Midwestern transplant. I'd say one in every three people here are from the Midwest. You realize it when you hear someone say, "Yeah, I'm from Minneapolis," or "I'm from Michigan."

It's usually when you ask, "So, what do you think of California?"

Once I get away from the city, though, I realize that I'm driving though the set of virtually every western movie made for the last thirty years. The grass is the gold color it's famous for; pointing out that it's dormant and effectively timber earns a nasty look until it's on fire and people have the temerity to ask "Why did this have to happen to me?"

The nasty natural stuff- the fires, earthquakes, and so on- you really don't worry about. You never know when they're gonna happen, so worrying about it is just lost energy. When they happen, you fight it as best you can, then you rebuild. It's what they've always done. It's the rain I worry about. Not because I don't like rain, but because people lose their minds here when it rains. You live, you learn.

The food here is great. Everything grows here, the state has every growing microclimate in it's borders. There's never a food shortage, but there are occassionally water shortages. I've never had better Thai, Vietnamese, or Japanese food; the rest is pretty good, too!

All in all, what's it like living in California?

It's like waking up on the set of a perpetual movie. Lots of drama from some, lots of wild things to see, but every now and then you realize you're in one of the most famous places on the planet.
And that's... alright.