For those of you that give or receive Christmas gifts around this time of year, the discussion I'm having here will sound mundane. It's odd, in a way, that I hadn't really thought about this until now. But the situation being what it is... well, instead of rambling on in a psuedo-justification, I'll just get on with it.
Living 'out here' means that our gifts don't come at first glance as if they have been part of 'the ritual.' You understand what that ritual is- you buy a gift you think or believe someone will like, lay it before you, then cover it in a wrapping. This wrapping may be simple, but usually tends to towards the extravagant and may even have accessories and other doo-dads and trinkets. The wrapping is cut just so, the tape applied with as much precision as one can muster, and the extras such as ribbons and bows added with a flourish. Heck, even throwing the gift in a bag can't be done without colored tissue, a colored or patterned bag, and a tag on it.
The first time I had ever seen the sensible gift wrap really, truly abused was by the other guy that's writing in this column. It was delivered as a gift, but with such disdain it actually made me laugh for the juxtaposition. (The recipient expected it, so it wasn't considered offensive.) The gift was wrapped in newspaper, with an occasional layer of tape- it required effort to open. I made him pay later for his savagery by presenting him with a gift as such, delivered with more stealth. He appreciated it- or at least his near hyper-ventilating laughter lent me to believe as such- as he ripped through the fifth layer of duct tape and newspaper, only to find a sixth. All that for a video game.
Receiving a gift that has been treated via 'the ritual' means it therefore must be addressed through yet another, separate 'opening' ritual. You receive the gift, usually on Christmas day but whatever day that has been designated as a gift exchange day is acceptable. It is suggested that you appreciate the efforts of the first ritual in order to follow rules of courtesy (frequently ignored by ravenous materialistic youth). Once appreciated, light banter may take place that usually hints at feigning either an attempt to guess what the gift is or looked bemused and present that the opener has no idea what it could possibly be (again, often ignored). Only then may the gift be opened and inspected for acceptance. Hilarity then ensues. Oops, I meant appreciation then must be displayed, unless the gift was odd, unwelcome, or just weird. The uncomfortable reaction that, contrary to belief, is very much a part of the ritual must be also treated with social grace lest bad karma befall the recipient/opener.
The gifts I receive now come through UPS, FedEx, or the Postal Service, and there are no festive colors. No 'just-so' taping. No bows or ribbons. Instead, they're brown cardboard boxes, with a dull mailing label, and they look rather industrial. Decorated boxes aren't good for shipping, they say. You can't wrap things and send them, it's too great a security risk; I do understand that and that's not a problem. Coming home to see a pile of brown cardboard, some re-used, some with logos but most without, it reminds me of the distance between me and my family.
You may be sitting there and saying "Well, just open them and see if they're wrapped!!"
I would, but I do not have confidence that they are, infact, wrapped at all. The result would be Christmas gifts that would be opened and known prior to Christmas, which violates the second opening ritual. It's a risk I'm not willing to take.
So remember, when you are sitting with your families or friends and partaking in these rituals, that not everyone that receives gifts can partake in the traditions. Do remember the family and friends you wish you could be with because they are the ones that make you feel generous and bring out the better part of you not just now, but all year-round. Consider that I may be close to you from 2,500 miles away, yet the person that is farthest from you on this planet may live right next door. And if you're lucky enough to see the full moon on the night of the 24th and 25th, know that I can see it too and that we're not that far apart at all.
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