Now what?

It's been over a month since I got my CCNA certification, and I have yet to even get a job offer. I've been on interviews, sent out resumes and even went to another job fair, but still don't have a job.
Worse yet, I either get the runaround or no answers from the folks I contact for jobs or help finding a job.
A few weeks ago, I made an appointment to get resume and job help from the place I took my Cisco classes. Mind you, this person hadn't even returned my emails. I finally spoke to her, and we set a time and day for the appointment. I even wrote it down. I went to the appointment, only to find out she was still eating lunch. After about a 30-minute wait, she kindly told me that she didn't have me marked down for an appointment that day.
Thing that kills me is, it's her job to help people find jobs. It's not like I didn't talk to her. Makes me wonder how much lazier I could be and still find a job.
From there, I went to an interview at some tech security company. I had a 40-minute phone interview with the place just a few days earlier, so I was stupidly optimistic about my chances, even though the interviewer screwed me over on a troubleshooting question.
So, in the interview, it becomes abundantly clear to me that they're not going to offer the job, and if they did, they'd lowball me on money. I think I stopped trying at that point.
The funniest thing happened when the interviewer's boss, some kind of super salesman, started talking at me. He gave the whole "we want to know you, put a face to a name, serve our clients" spiel. For whatever reason, he started going on about the glory of sales. He then had the nerve to say "sales is all about honesty."
If I didn't fully give up on this interview before, I did at this point.
More recently, I've been applying for contract jobs in the area. Unfortunately, many of them are with my former company, and the company makes former workers wait at least six months before hiring them back in any capacity.
I also applied for some "internship" opportunity. Allegedly, you're supposed to get some good training and money from it, to say nothing of the experience. I did a little research on the company offering these "internships," and it turns out they charge $95 for the application, and apparently used to take 20% of whatever money you made for the first job you got after the "internship."
I didn't go completely through with this application.
Most recently, I was contacted about a contract position with Abbott Labs. I told the recruiter I needed time to think about this, and emailed him back expressing my interest earlier this week. I called him Monday, and he never returned my call. Yesterday, I called him, and he said he was sick, that he'd call me this morning. Haven't heard from him.
You'd think a recruiter would be motivated to make a commission off people. I'd understand if he was really sick, but he said he was home Monday and Tuesday, yet I spoke to him on his office phone Monday.
I know, I should chill on the paranoia.
Still, the whole job search is a pain. Makes me wonder why I stayed in Chicago in the first place.