Corporate doublespeak, meetings and fatigue

I hate business meetings.
I really, really hate business meetings.
Invariably, these meetings turn out to be a big circle jerk, fingers get vaguely pointed to blame someone for some wrong doing, promises get made to improve the situation, and nothing comes of it. Business meetings are every bit the futile, soul-sucking exercise they're intended to be.
I hate business meetings.
In my not-quite-so-new job, I monitor alarms on government and military two-way radio equipment. The unfortunate part is the hours: I work overnight four nights a week.
So, whenever I have to attend a meeting, I have to attend it at 7 a.m., right as I'm supposed to leave.
I really, really hate business meetings.
Yesterday morning was a great example of the soul-sucking corporate meeting. Everybody from the overnight shift was present, as were a few folks from the day shift. Essentially, the meeting was called because some folks, myself included, screwed up in opening up a few trouble tickets and/or following up on tickets.
Luckily, I still have the FNG (Frakkin' New Guy) label, so I haven't come remotely close to getting canned....yet.
The meeting started with everyone seated around a rather generic-looking conference table in a rather generic-looking conference room, with two supervisors present and another on a conference call with the rest of us. The department head was also on the call.
Right away, the department head said "this was by no means any sort of disciplinary action." Right. That explains everything.
The meeting continued with examples of trouble tickets that various folks had screwed up, either by not following specific customer requests or by inputting a site ID incorrectly. Certain customers have different IDs, for the same site, based on how they want a particular alarm to be addressed. Once that was explained to everybody, this particular problem all but vanished.
Problem is, one of the customers who recently complained had been affected by recent hurricanes. Naturally, this meant more trouble tickets were opened, therefore, more errors happened than usual.
In the meantime, fresh off a 10-hour shift, the overnight folks were starting to nod off.
I really, really hate meetings.
I understand their purpose, really. Everyone's accountable to somebody else, so management has to demonstrate they're doing something to correct a problem, lest someone higher up the ladder decide cuts are needed.
I just don't like sticking around for something when I'm about to fall asleep.
Of course, the meeting disintegrated into a discussion of other problems, real or perceived. My personal favorite problem was about how burdened the overnight shift is because we have to handle monitoring alarms, opening cases and dispatching those cases to the appropriate technician. First and second shift only have to monitor alarms and open cases.
Normally, the overnight shift is pretty slow. There's exceptions when there's bad weather or when there's a major telco outage, but usually, it's pretty slow. In the last week, I read the last two books in the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy series and started reading a new book....while still doing my job.
Have I mentioned that I hate meetings?
I hate it even more when people ask questions in meetings. Questions only serve to drag the meeting out, keeping me from sleep. I like sleep. I don't like meetings.
Thankfully, the department head had another conference call to make, so the meeting adjourned at 8 a.m.
The catch? We have to meet again in a few weeks to see if there's been any improvement.
I hate business meetings.