Bill is away at GenCon, and since I have little of interest to write about, I decided I'd guest write an episode of the bunny chronicles without his permission. I'm uniquely qualified to do this for two reasons: 1) I like rabbits, 2) I hate Bill. So with no ado about this, here we go.
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A couple of days ago, I left the bunny and selfishly went to a stupid gaming convention. It wasn't the responsible or even the smart decision, but I am generally a masochist and so, oddly, I looked forward to the abuse and suffering I would endure upon my return.
The beast waited patiently for me, and behaved for everyone that took care of it. I couldn't be more relieved. I figure that if the bunny truly had a deep wellspring of hate, I would be noble and prevent others from seeing it. But the beast is cunning.
I spent more money than I had saved at the convention. Since I no longer have a credit rating and my car was repossessed, I was forced to turn tricks to earn cash for my swag. That I didn't shower was not a problem because at gaming conventions most of my clients don't shower, either. But I'm not hooked on anything, its not like that. I just needed 5 bucks for that Yu-Gi-Oh card with the mostly naked babe in battle with the tentacle monster. The point is I had alot of swag, and I intended most of it to be destroyed by the beast.
The beast was all too happy to oblige. When I had opened the door on my return the bunny had shaken open her cage and ran straight to me. Thinking it missed me, I bent down to catch it, or at least stop it. Instead, it went straight for my swag. I was beside myself. After all, even though I knew it's exactly what would happen I didn't expect the rabbit to ignore me. But then most people ignore me so I shouldn't really be surprised.
I bent down to grab the beast, hoping to save some of the swag for later destruction. The bunny saw the opening went I leaned to get her and ran right through my legs, out into the hall and stopped. When I mumbled about how clever the bunny was, she bolted again for the stairwell. I could have sworn it flipped me the bird. I tried to find it, but it was gone. I was so distraught that I finished the bottle of Mad Dog I had in my fridge, and went to sleep crying.
When I woke up the next morning, the bunny was in the cage again, hanging off the wire and screaming bunny obscenities and thrusting bunny poop onto my carpet.
I love my rotten little beast.
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