Things I've learned so far in the new job

It sucks having to ask someone to let me in or leave the room I work in every single time. My badge doesn't yet provide full access to the room.
It sucks having to show the contents of my bag to security every time I enter and exit the building. Not a big deal, just a nuisance.
One big company looks much like another. Red tape is a constant.
Don't ever leave my workstation without locking it. Doing so is a great way for the grizzled vets to save gay porn as my desktop image.
Free food is good, even if I have to drive to pick it up.
Expect to get a hard time at least until there's another new person on the shift.
Learn quickly what acronyms stand for (FNG=frakkin new guy).
Whistling The Final Countdown is contagious.
Sharing the joy of Powerthirst commercials is fun.
Make sure you get the really good chair.
Watch out for mousetraps.
Bring a flannel. They keep that room colder than my ex-girlfriends combined.
It's ok to communicate with someone via IM, even if they're sitting a few feet away.
Did I mention the locking of the computer?
Yep. Yay new job.

They Were.... Offended

I found out that I had done something in a meeting so unconscionable, so beyond the pale, that I couldn't be told what I did.

Let me explain.

I was in a meeting where I opened the meeting by saying "I am acting as nothing more than the secretary. I will write what you tell me. I cannot contribute, as I have no subject knowledge."

This was unacceptable to an individual at the meeting, who proceeded to ask me intermittently throughout the 5 hour meeting "what I thought" about what they were saying. For the first two hours, I responded politely. For the next two, I became exasperated answering the same question the same way. In the last hour, I committed my unforgivable sins of folding my arms in an unprofessional manner and rolling my eyes and answering with the same answer I had given for 4 previous hours.

That was enough to earn a report to their HR.

Their HR in turn has a policy that whenever someone complaints, they shield the identity of the complaintant and mete justice with passive-aggressive behavior. Good when it's a sexual harrassment complaint. Bad when it's any old complaint. It neutralizes my ability to apologize, or learn why in case, God forbid, I should want to fix my behavior.

Instead I was treated with a "you know what you did, and if you don't know, I'm not telling you." Not a snotty lover or partner- a #$%$^#@ CORPORATION!!!! But not from HR!!

When I was pulled into my project manager's office and asked why this would have happened, I honestly didn't know. I knew I was frustrated with insipid questions, but I didn't say or overtly do anything to anyone. He told me that I had, in fact, offended someone (cue 4-note chord in D minor).

Who did I offend? "I don't know."
What did I do to offend? "I don't know."
How did you find this out? "Person A was told by HR that someone involved with the project was offended."

"Normally, this is enough to get you kicked off-site, but I can't finish this project without you so that's not going to happen."

So, to recap: I heard fourth-hand (someone told someone else, who told yet someone else, who then told another person, who then told me) that I had committed the cardinal sin of offending someone and have no recourse, no manner of apology, and no way to know what happened.

It wasn't until many phone calls from our "in the know" contacts that I found it was because of "aggressive but not quite unprofessional body posturing" but that I still had no way to apologize. It also came out that the person would be embarassed to receive an apology.

This is the second time I've received this treatment in my life, and both of them in California.

Seriously people, you will not survive with skin that thin. You may be able to sing kumbaya in
your own freakin house where everyone gets along, and you may even get rid of frustrated people in your work and your life. That's when other frustrated people push you around in proxy and tell you to screw off because you won't fight back.

If this ever happens to you, that's how you know the only thing you will ever amount to in your pathetic life is being an obstacle. Obstacles never did anything worthwhile in their lives except create more obstacles. People like you are disdained and scorned for your uselessness. Capitulate and acquiesce to others who give a crap. It's not like you'll do anything else, anyway.

Rejoining the workforce

Tuesday was my first day at Motorola.
The first thing that overwhelmed me was the sheer size of the campus. I had to go to three separate buildings that day. First, I had to go to some corporate tower to turn in my remaining tax paperwork. That took about an hour in total.
After turning in my paperwork, I was told to just head to where I'd normally work. So I did. After talking with a few people, I think HR just got rid of me as quick as they could. A few years ago, supposedly, new employees would get a full tour of the campus, including the visitors' center, a tech museum, and some other stuff. Now, it's just, "Thanks, get your badge, see ya later."
It's nice to know there's consistency among big companies. I feel comfortable being just a number right away.
Guess I'll make do looking online for benefit info and such.
After the HR excursion, I went to network monitoring. Got introduced to some of the employees and managers. Sat down with a fellow, and he advised me in the ways of network monitoring. The info is helpful, but until I get access to my own computer with proper logins, I don't think I'll really understand what they do and how they do it.
Mind you, I accepted the job offer over three weeks ago, so it's not like they didn't know I was coming. Supposedly, my computer was ready for me on Wednesday.
However, I learned from an IT fellow that my user ID hasn't extended to the whole company yet (or something), so I can't log into any applications yet. I've been told I should have access already. Hearing that, I figure I should have my computer ready by mid-July.
Side note: the job also requires a background check. So, to anyone reading this, please please please be nice to me and don't screw around if the nice folks from Homeland Security come calling. Please. I got fingerprinted. Really.
At any rate, I suppose I don't care about any inefficiencies as long as I get paid.
It's nice to get out of the house.

Occasional Thought

Sometimes it is a scary thing to have an overactive imagination.

I was walking to my cube at the job site where I work, a seemingly droll event. Better than average because it's a spring day in California, but I digress. Slight breeze, sunny, 70, and just amazing to be outside. The breeze was kicking up some leaves from who knows where.

I saw some litter in the leaf piles and I started to get mad. Wonder if it would make any difference if one were to take all the litter and pile it on the lawn in front of your friendly state capitol building. It wouldn't, of course, but it would have a wonderfully dramatic effect.

Then I focused on the leaves. I began to think of two things at the same time; one where the office building had outdoor windows with screens and open-air conditioning, letting the breeze blow through the offices and cool people down. I know, how hippy of me. The second thought was of what the place would look like without all of the human development. Would it be grassy, or what passes in California as grassy, or would it be more forested?

I began to miss the cooler forest, even though the day outside was superb. The idea of walking on effectively mulched-by-nature leaves while just living life in the shade was so very appealing at that precise moment. It wasn't a resentment of development, more a romantic nostalgia of nature.

When the door closed behind me, I was back in the middle of the cube farm, with off-white walls and cubes with gray diagonal cross-hatch threading. Sun lights that hint that nature exists coupled with a seeming endless row of flourescent tubes, the "simulated daylight" versions that alledgely improve morale.

They say taupe is very soothing.

And then I sat back and reflected on the thoughts that I had while walking a total of 53 feet and wondered if my imagination was really going to waste like everyone tells me. If it is, it's a sad and scary thought to me.

Vacation

The past few weeks have been a bit crazy between preparing to rejoin the ranks of the employed and a few other things.
So, I decided to use the last bit of unpaid vacation time I have left and leave town for a few days.
Flew to Grand Junction, Colorado. From there, went with a friend to Zion national park and Bryce Canyon, both in Utah.
Note to self: take more time to see the individual parks should I visit them again. Reason is, there's just so much stuff to see.
Zion seemed to me to be appropriately named. There's a really stunning mix of desert, vegetation and wildlife there. Also, there's some fantastic views if you're willing to do a bit of hiking. Words can't ever fully express the sort of beauty you'd find there.
Just be prepared to gasp for breath and drink lots of water.
Bryce Canyon didn't have as much wildlife or vegetation as Zion, but some of the rock formations were also wonderful. If you walk down into the canyon, you'll get a much better perspective.
Still, remember the bit about the gasping and the water. At least, if you're as out-of-shape as me.
Got to see some more great views driving back to Grand Junction.
Stayed there Wednesday, and flew home Thursday.
After seeing such fantastic stuff, I'm sure I'll feel great looking at cubicle walls again come next Tuesday. Yay.
I'll have to go back out there again someday.

Presidential Polling

(cue "Hail to the Chief")

http://online.wsj.com/public/resources/documents/info-presapp0605-31.html

Truman had the lowest ratings records, below 25% (close to 22%).

Since 1946 (Truman), six presidents have had their approval ratings precipitously drop below 50%. Three were Republican (Bush I, Bush II, and Nixon). Three were Democrats (Truman, Johnson, and Carter). A fourth Democrat showed signs of dropping, but was assassinated (Kennedy) before the approval rating could change further.

Most of the presidents that were below 50% presided over a prominant military action that lasted longer than a week: Korea (Truman), Vietnam (Johnson, Nixon), Kuwait/Iraq (Bush I), Afghanistan/Iraq (Bush II). Only Carter managed to do so without war; he did so by presiding over the oil embargos. Consider, then, that Bush has presided over both historically high oil prices and a war, and is still not the lowest rated president ever.

Look up and read Jimmy Carter's "Crisis of Confidence" speech. And don't ever, EVER, tell me history doesn't repeat itself.

Nixon ratings were actually quite good, in the high 50s or low 60s, until Watergate. Until then, his handling of Vietnam, of China, and the Soviet Union kept people not hating him the way you might think we did.

Clinton was the only president in poll history that ended higher than when he started, though Ford and Reagan were pretty close. Even Bush I left on a significant uptick. Clinton dropped some initially with the approval of NAFTA. He went up afterwards with occasional missile strikes and turning victimization to his advantage over his impeachment.

The average presidential poll approval change when a change in the office occurs is about +17%. The numbers after Truman and Nixon left office balance out the lack of change since 1988, which is 0%.

Bush II was the first president inaugurated with a lower approval rating than his outgoing predicessor.

Truman, Bush I, and Bush II all had the highest recorded poll ratings in recorded history.
Truman started at 86%, the Bushes got their ratings on the start of wars in Iraq.

Bush II is currently at about the same level that Carter and Truman were in their last years.

Only two presidents have ever had their entire presidencies polled over 50% approval for the entire time in office- Eisenhower and Kennedy.

Two effects are constant in approval changes: ratings go up following military activity, and ratings go down when "the people" are given either large social change or business is given obvious advantages.

Crude trending over the span of the data implies that respect for the office has dropped about 40 points since the start of polling.

What does all this mean?

It means that despite the president's affiliated party, the nation still knows what they like and dislike. It means that neither (or both) parties are equally effective, bad, and/or good, but there is no clear favor of one over the other. And mostly it means that America will roll along despite all the Chicken Little Pundits and Info-tainment Shock News that exist.

180,000 Miles and Still Rolling

My car recently rolled over 180,000 miles. It's the first car I bought new. I bought it in July of 2001.

Yes, that means I've put over 25,000 miles per year on my car. According to those that know, the average amount of miles put on a car in a year is 15,000.

It is both an extremely long time and relatively no time at all to own a car. My parents have gone through three cars, my sister two. But really, the car's in good shape otherwise. And I really can't afford to get a new car, what with trying to save for a house.

Since I got the car I've had the wiring harness fixed, a new set of gaskets, two sets of brakes, two sets of new tires, a new front end, new tie rod and wheel bearings, a new transmission, a new knob for my climate control, a new windshield, and a few burnt out lightbulbs. The passenger rear door is significantly dented, the trunk tailgate light molding is cracked, there are paint scratches, and the windshield looks like it was washed in high-pressure gravel. The jack is broken, sheared in half. The oil is burning at a rate of about a quart every 4,000 miles.
But really, the car's in good shape otherwise.

It's a smooth ride, it gets about 28 mpg on a V6, the sound system is great, and its the car we prefer to take when we're in a car for an extended period of time. Most people get into my car and say "wow, it's lot more comfortable than I thought it would be. (place your backseat jokes on hold, please.)

I hope to get a replacement for it, considering the mileage is still really good for a non-hybrid. It just costs a few duckets.

New job

Got a call from Motorola yesterday. They offered me a job, and today I formally accepted.
The job's pretty close to the work I did previously, but there is still some monitoring of routers and switches involved. So, it's sorta Cisco-related type work, but not like being a network administrator. The job is monitoring and responding to alarms on government and police two-way radio networks. I interviewed pretty well, and shockingly, I expressed confidence in myself and said as much to the folks interviewing me.
Yay, confidence.
The hours suck: I'll work four nights a week, 9 pm to 7 am. I remember another job I worked nights, and it sucked changing my sleep schedule. Once again, I'll be low man on the totem pole.
But, it's a job, and it's a step up from my last job, which is really the most important thing.
Drawing a paycheck again will be nice.
I still have a couple of weeks before the job starts. I plan to travel a bit while I still have the time off, as I won't get vacation for at least a little bit after I start.
It's nice to know I'll have a job again and can stay local. I really like the Chicago area.
Yay.

Jury duty, medical malpractice, and the cost of a human life

Last Friday, I had to journey to the Daley center for a jury summons. The deal is either one day or one trial. Lucky me, I was selected to serve on a jury for a medical malpractice lawsuit.
I tried a bit to get out of it. I was scheduled to have a job interview tomorrow.
There's a bit of a process in jury selection. The judge first asks a series of prescreening questions. Those questions are designed to weed out folks who may be favorable to one side or the other. Supposedly, those questions are also designed to give folks a chance to convince the judge that they have something coming up that they may prevent them from serving on the jury.
Job interviews don't count, and I found that out the hard way.
The judge's exact words to me? "Nice try."
Thanks, your honor.
I should have lied and said I watch every law drama, whether fictional or fact-based, and expected the Law and Order sound effect every time a witness took the stand.
Clink clink.
So, I got sworn in for jury duty on Friday. Once I learned I had to return for the trial Monday, I returned home.
All potential jurors were advised about the case. A woman sued a pathologist for a missed stomach cancer diagnosis. About 5 years ago, she visited her doctor, who ordered a biopsy of some stomach tissue. Slides were created and sent to a pathologist for review. This particular pathologist said the tissue was noncancerous.
So, the woman thinks she's basically fine. She's prescribed some antacid for digestive problems. But, her problems persisted, and 15 months later, she visited her doctor again. They get some more stomach tissue, and she gets the bad news she has stomach cancer.
Ultimately, the original slide was reviewed, and it was determined that she in fact had stomach cancer five years ago. Problem is, the cancer was at a much earlier stage and therefore more easily treatable compared to what she had to endure, which included surgery, radiation and chemo. That, and she really doesn't trust doctors much anymore.
I won't go into too many specifics. Basically, cancer is more treatable and the patient has a higher survival rate the earlier it's detected and operated on. The plaintiff's case was that the delayed diagnosis would end up costing her a lot, including ultimately her life to a degree of likelihood.
So, she wanted money. A pretty darned big amount of money. More money than I'll ever see.
Her attorneys asked for $12 million in total damages. The defense thought $550,000 was a fair amount.
Seeing that there was such a discrepancy in figures, the jury had to decide how much to award this woman. I'd hoped that the two sides would settle before the trial, but that didn't happen.
Let me tell you about one particular oddity. We were told not to speculate about what the plaintiff endured, but we were told to come up with a figure for not only past, but future pain, suffering, etc.
So, we didn't speculate, but we did speculate.
It's an interesting thing, sitting in a crowded room with 11 other people, trying to figure out what a life is worth. On one hand, we agreed that the woman should be compensated. On the other, we agreed that the pathologist shouldn't be punished about this forever.
There was very little about this case that was concrete. The woman missed work for about four months during her chemo and radiation treatment, and she provided receipts for medical treatment. The plaintiff attorneys also had a doctor testify about her chances for relapse and possible medical expenses if she does relapse.
Other than that, we poor jury folks had to figure how much to award this lady, and that award was gonna be somewhere between $550,000 and $12 million.
There was a fair amount of discussion between us, and from what I could tell, a desire to not be asked to place a dollar value on this case. How do you put a figure on a life that hasn't even been fully lived? How can you award damages based on a chance that she'll relapse, even if that chance is significant? How are all parties involved, both plaintiff and defense, affected by your decision? Are we just part of the whole medical malpractice lawsuit problem?
Some folks wanted to award a total of $6 million, some a bit less. Honestly, I wasn't comfortable discussing such big sums of money, but I'd said under oath that if warranted, I could vote for a significant amount of damages.
After a couple hours of finagling and such, we ultimately decided on a total figure of $4.5 million in damages.
I hope we did right by both the plaintiff and defendant.
We spoke to the sheriff's deputy about the decision, asking what he thought the judge would think. He advised the judge wouldn't tell us directly, but he thought we came up with a figure that was about what was expected.
So, what did I do today? I got paid $17.20 and a sammich to award someone a lot of money.
I hope it was fair.
I hope it was just.
I hope I'm never asked to do something like this again.
I need a drink.

Girls like me are annoying

Being my inaugural post--and since my daily mode is to assume that I'm misunderstood--I feel the need to clarify:

1. I'm not a girl.
   
2. I don't find it annoying if & when girls like me. (OK, if & occasional when.)

Oh, and also:

3. I like myself, generally.

Now my self-introduction:   I'm a science researcher on the verge of leaving the nest of academia. I live in Japan, for the moment, and recently I survived a trial by fire: a big break-up. I'm molting, perhaps. I'm relearning a lot about me, all the while trying to be aware of where I'm heading. I'm 32 and finally starting to mature a bit.

  For reference, Japan is a good place to
  grow mature.  One could call it "Playground 
  for your id."  I also choose to call it 
  "solitary confinement."  
  (Which, strangely, was good for me.)

Anyway, let's get to the sexist girl bashing.

You know how being similar to someone is supposed to be a good thing? Not necessarily. I've been trying to like a particular girl for quite a while. She speaks great English (like me!), she has #3 above down pat (fantastic!), she is in touch with many of her faults (yay maturity!). But God she's got some bad points that I wish I could say to her face:

Always late. OK, you told me that you'll be late, but you waited until the originally agreed time to say it. "Sorry, I'm still 30 minutes away!" And the one time I tried to compensate for that, by being late myself, you were on time.   :|   Fantastic.

Boy clothes. OK, freedom of choice. Self-expression. I get it. But there are boy jeans and there are girl jeans. There are boy t-shirts and there are girl t-shirts. One kind gives a man a signal, one kind screams *Platonic!* Girls as young as 10 understand this. Maybe you're self-conscious, or maybe you actually were born with an unflattering body shape and face that from certain angles looks like it was smashed with a flat metal surface--that's not the point. I'm trying to say that I'd appreciate the effort, regardless.

Breath check! What the hell did you have for lunch--black mold? Raw skunk butt?

Let's be honest: it's a jungle out there, and mating rituals involve competition. There are differences between men and women, and romantic philosophical notions of equality usually don't work. Whether we actively realize it or not, the signs one gives to initiate and maintain a relationship are based on those inequalities.

...

Perhaps it's more accurate to say, "Girls like the old me are annoying."

For better or worse, I'm not as idealistic as I once was. Sure, I'm still respectful and polite--as proof I'm venting to a blog instead of to her face. But I see a "we're just friends" conversation looming in the future. Oh well.



(PS. If anyone knows of a full proof mental technique for remembering breath-checks, please post a comment.. )

Why I'm only playing Executive

Organization: We're committed to quality.

VP: We need to put quality on the shelf for a couple of weeks.

(three months later)

Organization: We're committed to quality.

VP: We need to put quality on the shelf for a couple of weeks.

Quality (that's me!): Can we be committed to quality when we put quality on the shelf?

VP: What's more important, quality or making money?

(uncomfortable stares around the room)

Chaos. Panic. Disorder. One step at a time, one day at a time.

My Best Tournament Evar

I attend independant Warhammer Fantasy Battle Tournaments. Okay, stop laughing.

This week was a big one on the circuit. Yes, there's a national series of these games. I said stop laughing.

And I had my best set of games ever. There were 80 participating. Came in 23rd overall, and 9th in game score. I paint my own army, and I'm not a natural comedian when I'm playing, so I'm otherwise an average player. But going 3-1-1 while obtaining all the scenario objectives... that's a first for me. It brings my tournament record to 4-13-8. Considering I only really started playing the game 3 years ago, and my group has at least half a dozen guys that have won the tournaments, let's just say that I've been learning this game the hard way. My wife pointed out that I didn't win a game at the game store for a solid year at one point.

Granted, the game has a huge rulebook, something like 128 pages or so. When you lose your games on one technicality from a book that has about 10,000 of them, you hit a point where you say "this sucks and I don't wanna play no more," or "I can do this."

This weekend, though, the technicalities were my opponents' undoing.

From a fantasy battle perspective, there were some amazing things and some funny things, things you would read of in a cheap, world-specific fiction novel. A military-sized magic missile spell blowing apart a unit of heavy cavalry as they lined up for a charge. A group of minor daemons setting a drow matriarch and her dark pegasus mount on fire and watching her die. An arch-daemon scaring the piss out of an army general and his battle standard bearer and chief wizard. A bold group of peasant archers that defies the attacks of a charging hellspawn and banishes them. Two groups of trolls that, after beating their opponent, are so stupid that they literally run into each other.

I would remember more, but I was drinking a bit as well.

Happy 25th, Lee Elia! (NSFW)

Warning: the audio heard here is not safe for work. At all.
The rant heard in this video is an all-time Chicago classic. You think you've heard sport rants before? Trust me, this beats Jim Mora's "Playoffs?!" and Dennis Green's "They are who we thought they were" rants hands-down.
Little bit of history: the Cubs didn't always rule Chicago's baseball fandom. The Sox could have had their games carried on WGN, which reaches a large part of the country, just like the Cubs. That, and the '84 team's run built up their popularity.
God bless Lee Elia. Hope he doesn't get beaned at Wrigley tomorrow.

Time to Throw Down... Some Dice

This weekend is the Quake City Rumble 2008, the independant Warhammer Fantasy Battle tournament that brings in people from all over the country to... push hand-painted, hand posed, and sometimes hand made toy soldiers around a table and roll dice to see who "wins." This is, of course, right up my alley.
It's never about the game. The game is usually a side event to the socialization, and that is a side event to the drinking. This year I think the tourney has 90 players. It will be a full, fun time. My cousin, who won "Best Sportsman" at last year's tournament, has returned for this go-round.
My "team," or my "army," or my "toy soldiers" are playing in their last tournament under the current rules. My army's rules change on Tuesday, so the way my army is composed and plays will all change. I'll be able to use most of the old models, but it is the last time that I'll be able to play the list this way. I've been playing this list for four years, and it's time to update.
I'm a little nervous, mostly because of the competition and the nature of the game. Rolling hundreds of six sided dice to determine an outcome doesn't always lend itself to an average dice roll of 3.5. But it should be a laugh and mostly the people are cool (a few douchebags exist everywhere).
I'm going to the national invitational for this game in July, and I'm pretty stoked about it- but I'll have to adapt quick with my new army. But in the meantime... here's to a strong magic phase, not miscasting my spells, and my general not taking a cannonball to the chest...

Cold migration, boredom, and interviews

I'm now in my third day of being sick. Not sure what exactly I caught, but I'm guessing it's the cold or flu, probably just a cold.
There's normally a set order for how the symptoms move through me, and this time around, the symptoms decided to be all chaotic and stuff, appearing out of the order I normally expect. The order I normally expect is sore throat, runny/stuffy nose, horrible cough, cough loosens up, then cold is over.
Wednesday, it was the cough. It was bad enough to wake me up pretty continuously from Wednesday night into Thursday morning, despite liberal doses of cough syrup, Vaporub and ibuprofen. It got to the point that my throat was really sore from all the coughing.
Yesterday, it was a mixture of coughing and sneezing, changing mostly to sneezing by day's end. I still coughed some, but not nearly as much or as painfully as I did on Wednesday.
Today has consisted mostly of the runny/stuffy nose. Still coughing a bit, but that's down compared to yesterday and Wednesday. Now, it's moved up behind my eyes. I'm scared if I sneeze, snot'll ooze out of my eyes.
Stupid cold.
So, with this cold, basically I've been staying in a whole lot the past few days. I was supposed to go to an open house for some recruiting business yesterday, but the body told me I'd explode in a giant snot bubble if I did. So, I stayed here and let the snot ooze out slowly. Besides, the job wasn't exactly on my ideal career path.
Hooray for being stocked up on kleenex and vitamin C.
I did make a brief trip to the store yesterday to pick up ginger ale and fudgesicles. I've been drinking lots of ginger ale since the cold started. As I did not want to be without my ginger ale, I bought some more.
This led to a cough-sneezefest when I got home. I was warned about the snot bubble.
Today, I got a call from a company in Schaumburg. They're looking for someone to do help desk work, but it means working weekends and also working midnights. Fine by me, as I got nothin' now. I just hope I don't explode in a snot bubble during the interview next Tuesday.
Excuse me while I blow my nose for the hundredth time today.

Sick

I hate being sick. It was bad enough during the time I had a job and could take sick days. It's worse now, because time I'm out of commission is time I could spend on interviews and such.
Woke up this morning with a really bad cough. It's a horrible, lung-rattling, ever-see-Aliens cough. I've taken some cough medicine and even used some Vaporub (as directed), but it doesn't seem to be doing much good thus far.
I dread the coughing, because usually it starts a fit that I know won't stop for a good 8-10 seconds. Also, the coughing results in the dreaded after-cough aches and pains, followed by a general "ugh."
But Bill! You're well enough to blog!
Yeah. Thing is, I don't sound so well on the phone right now. I just called a recruiter back concerning a job, and while leaving a message, I'm sure I sounded like death warmed over. After leaving the message, I had another coughing fit, followed by another "ugh."
Ugh.
I hate being sick.

We're Number 1, Part SURPRISE

I never followed up on the whole torch relay thing. I've been that disappointed over the result.

Of course I don't blame anyone for their actions. People were behaving according to their prescribed social roles.

I am not surprised that the city did something different. I just wanted them not to. I hoped they wouldn't. But they did, and it's over now.

Cthulu on the Links

I haven't looked too hard, but I'd be suprised if no one has made a pun on Tiger Woods' real first name- Eldric. Or is it 'Eldritch?' "Sucking the souls of professional golfers around the world..."

Job search update, former colleagues and weird questions

I've applied for several help desk and Cisco-related jobs, but haven't heard anything about it. More recently, I heard about a contract job in Indianapolis doing essentially what I did in my last job. I applied for it, so hopefully I'll hear something in the not-so-distant future. I need money.
It turns out several of my former coworkers also applied for the job in Indy. I figure if we get the job, we should all pitch in for an apartment down there so we can live cheaply. This is provided we get the job, of course. Would be nice to work with some of the fellows again.
I also interviewed for a help desk job in Buffalo Grove. Turns out another candidate is a woman I used to work with. Put mildly, she was notorious for missing work by abusing FMLA time and being generally useless when she did show up. The recruiter I spoke to asked me if I knew her, and I'm pretty sure he could tell by my reaction that I didn't think highly of her. He pried a bit farther, trying to get me to tell him some more, but I said he really needed to talk to former managers about her. I tried to keep it as diplomatic as possible. Despite my desperation, I don't want to get a job by tearing down somebody else. Chances are, despite her lack of attendance, that she'll get the job over me. That's the bitterness talking, I suppose.
I've also applied for an ESL job in South Korea. Hopefully, I should hear something soon about that. If I get the job there, I can take it at about the same time my current apartment lease expires. All I'd need to do is put my stuff in storage, get a bit of training, and, well, live in South Korea for a bit. Money's money, and seeing as I'm doing nothing right now, I'll take about anything I can get.
Subject change: I've been in a bit of a relationship the last two years and change. In a recent conversation, the girl I've been seeing asked me if I used any illegal drugs. Aside from the fact that I don't, and told her as much early on in the deal, it would be pretty stupid for me to do them now, especially considering I'm looking for a job. The job may require a drug test before the official hire.
I asked what prompted this question now, and apparently, her friend was involved with someone who got into drugs and was treated badly.
I should also add that there's nothing in my apartment that would indicate I use anything stronger than ibuprofen.
So, I've been a bit ticked off about this question for the past few days. In my mind, it indicates a lack of trust. I treated her pretty well, and I really don't like getting asked something like this. "I don't want to be made a fool of," she claimed.
Right.
Subject change 2: I recently contacted an old high school buddy who lives in Memphis. I'd like to visit him sometime this month, seeing as I'm on an extended unpaid vacation and have the time. I think the time out of Chicago would do me good. Not like there's much going on here right now.

We're Number 1, Part 3

Last night saw a rally that numbered in the thousands, or so claims the local socialist rag. It may have actually been about 300 people, but that's enough to make the journalists throw up their hands and say "thousands!"

This morning's protestors were already out before 6 AM. These protestors- sorry, "celebrators"- are pro-China. Good thing they invented fireworks, because they're probably going to fly at 1 PM.

We're Number 1, Part 2

They've already climbed the support cables of the Golden Gate Bridge with banners, and bus loads of pro-Tibet supporters are coming through the San Joaquin valley today. Traffic advisories exist to avoid the city tomorrow because of "anticipated protests." I will be SO let down if this is a milquetoast event. I want to see riot gear and firehoses.

To raise awareness.

We're Number 1

What happened in London and Paris is mere child's play compared to the lunacy that will unfold when the Olympic torch arrives in the Protest Capital of the World, San Francisco, on Wednesday. I'm contemplating taking the day off just to be there, to witness it.

The Tragic Downfall of Zimbabwe

African politics are easy to dismiss most of the time. There's usually one group that has all the guns and power, and they exert their control in an authoritarian manner. Occassionally you may hear about a second group, one that poses a challenge to the ruling group. No matter how minimal that opposition is, the word that follows to describe what happens next is "atrocity."

We are afforded a unique opportunity to understand the modern, current state of an African nation and a little bit about metapolitics in the events that unfold in Harare. Zimbabwe was a British colony (formerly Rhodesia) until 1980, when they attained independence. As Americans, we can identify with the general sentiment of casting off British rule. There was a national pride that swept over the native people and, when independent, they vowed to be completely free of British rule. The majority of the population was black, with the minority whites usually in positions of power. Many whites farmed, and Zimbabwe was easily the breadbasket of Africa. They exported so much food that they were well regarded for it.

Once independent, people were grateful to the person that led the fight for sovreignty. Robert Mugabe was the first President of the nation, and the native people were secure in their new government. The descendants of colonists, however, were not. The changes didn't occur all at once, and not all were drastic to be sure. But at some point, the following question was asked: "Why are farms run by whites so much more successful than those run by blacks?"

If it were that simple. It wasn't. But the native people began to mill that around in their heads. And then their leader, the one who showed them independance, gave an explanation: it's because they've got the better land and more of it, they've got all the money from the colonial days, and they have the best tools. In short, they aren't playing fair.

In the U.S. or another country in the western world, they would perhaps have tried promoting better educational opportunities for farmers. Perhaps subsidizing black farmers for equipment or land purchases, or for their crops. The actual solution was a bit more African- they drove the white people off the land and gave it to blacks.

Romatically speaking, of course, this is every communist's wet dream. Equal land distribution. But that's not how it happened. Remember, I said it was an African solution. The land only went to the biggest supporters of the ruling group. Anyone that was native but dissented from the majority view did not partake in the distribution. And then the stories came out of mobs of people driving onto a farmer's land, raiding the house, throwing the farmer out with nothing, raping the wife (very rare) and throwing her out, followed by the death threats and the occassional follow-through thereof. This was 1994.

So, land now acquired by the natives, the natives' prosperity is all but assured. Only it didn't happen that way. Farm output plummeted. Food stocks dried up. Most of the descendants of colonials left, but a few still stayed on. Zimbabwe, the now former breadbasket of Africa, became a net importer of food. Not because of drought or pestilence, but because of inept farming. The reason, so explained the president now in his 16th year of rule- it's the West, Britain, and (now) the U.S. that are wrecking their lives. No one had actually put an embargo on Zimbabwe.

By the year 2000, the decline continued. An election was due, and the people began to think, "y'know, maybe the President is wrong." There was a chance the President could lose his seat. Another African solution- the presiden mustered up all the soldiers from his party and enforced brutal crackdowns. Many reports of rigged elections flowed from the country, for which the journalists were beaten. When Mugabe emerged the victor, only then did western countries place their first embargoes- on Mugabe and his closest advisors. Not on the nation. Not on the people. Just the guy.

In the last eight years, people have slowly started to realize that maybe this president is only in it for himself. Anytime the opposition speaks loudly enough, Mugabe suggests that he is only trying to incite rebellion and treason. In other words, Mugabe now identifies himself as the government. Meanwhile, the country spirals into the world toilet. I'm not even really sure how a country can have 100,000 percent inflation, but that's where they are at. Millions starving, millions jobless, and no end in sight- until this election.

What's the point of all this history?

The point is that there is little chance of peace in this country because a man decided that people loved him for a past deed so much that it entitled him to become an autocrat. There will likely be war, the opposition will likely lose, and because we all think the U.S. is some kind of international evil tyrant now millions will lose their lives over one man's ambition. The point is also that change is not always good, and that when people stop viewing power as a privilege and start viewing it as a right it only causes pain. Lastly, and perhaps most strongly, this is what can happen when people see the government as a solution to all their problems- the government can be wrong.

Doing our part, I guess

I overheard alot of buzz in the office. It seems that we're making a small part for the solar panel system that will be in use in the Denver Convention Center roughly around the time of the DNC. High fives all around, I guess. Maybe I'm not as thrilled. Seeing as I don't think people there would be jumping out of their seats and wondering "Gee, what company built those amazing 8-string subcombiner boxes," I guess I'm a little cynical.

I think they may have other things on their minds.

Nevertheless, my company is starting to dabble in the building of parts to supply solar farms. I've heard there may be some money in that somewhere.

Time grows short

Last week, I passed the six-month mark for unemployment. In the time since I lost my job, I've attended job fairs, went on some interviews, and oh yes, taken a few Cisco classes, and even got my CCNA certification.
You'd think these would be worthwhile endeavors, but I have yet to even get a job offer.
I interviewed with Walgreens last week for a help center position. Thought I interviewed pretty well, and I did reasonably well on this skills assessment. The job offered training. It was an entry-level sort of thing. I figured with my certification and my prior background learning stuff in telecom, I'd be a good candidate for the job.
Turns out Walgreens didn't figure the same thing. They notified me this morning via email.
I'm supposed to hear later today about a contract position with AT&T, and hopefully, hear about a second interview from a company in Oak Park. Ideally, I'd like to get the job in Oak Park, as the office is about a mile from my apartment. I could walk to work every day.
But, with the six-month mark past, I know my unemployment money will run out soon. Real soon. I still have some cash stashed aside, but I don't want to dip into it.
It's a frustrating thing being unemployed. I've polished my resume and taken classes to supposedly make me hireable. I keep asking myself what good it's done and what good am I if I can't even get a job. I know, I could work at Walmart or some other job, but I've been out of college over 10 years. I have a degree and some allegedly valuable experience and training. How am I gonna keep looking for a job if I'm stuck somewhere doing basic crap all day?
Parents and some friends have told me I've done good by getting my CCNA. I try telling myself that it wasn't worth it to move to keep my old job.
Look where I'm at now: jobless and scrambling to find something before the money runs out. I believe the term is desperation.
I really don't know what I can do anymore.

WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Watched Wrestlemania with a few friends earlier tonight. One of the main matches on the card was Ric Flair against Shawn Michaels. The gimmick used lately for Flair is the next match he loses would be his last match. It's pretty appropriate considering Flair is approaching age 60, and some critics say he should have given it up a long time ago.
I know, I know, rasslin's scripted and such. Still, if you've ever even watched a pro wrestling match, you probably know about the influence Flair has in the business. I recommend y'all watch Flair's Hall of Fame induction speech. For all the stuff he's done over the years, he showed a great deal of humility and thankfulness to those that supported him. It's good stuff.
Then, I recommend you watch his match with Shawn Michaels. It was easily the match of the night, which is saying something when the two participants are a combined 100+ years old. Some of the other top acts in rasslin' could learn a few things about how to run a match from Michaels and Flair. It's one of the best matches I've seen.
Anyhoo, it was good stuff, so check out the videos while you can.

Still more on the Holy Name protest

Supposedly, the suspects are free on bail. Major news outlets still haven't reported if they were free or not, but supposedly, these nuts have walked amongst their fellow nuts since their arrest.
I know, I suppose I should just let it go. Still, it's nuts like these jerks that make me think there really is a war going on between the left and the right, and that I need to do something to protect myself against quacks like this.
For all the good it's done, I've continued posting on the Chicago indy media website, only to have most of my posts deleted. So much for open debate and such. I suppose that's what I should expect from people who terrorize a church in the name of the first amendment.
Anyhoo, here's my latest post, under the name The Notorious P.I.G.:
One other thing here. While the first amendment does include protection of free speech, it also includes the right to practice religion freely and to peaceably assemble. I'm no lawyer or anything, but I haven't seen anything that says the right to free speech outweighs the right to practice religion and assemble peacefully.
That's why I remain angry about what the protesters did last Sunday. In my mind, it seems they took it upon themselves to show that their freedom of speech is more important to them than the freedom of others to practice religion.
Illinois, especially Chicago, traditionally votes very heavily for Democrat candidates. The state was carried by Al Gore in 2000 and by John Kerry in 2004 in respective presidential elections. Chances are a good portion of the people inside Holy Name on Sunday already opposed the war and have cast votes supporting candidates that wouldn't have as much of a war policy as Bush.
Also, an usher's hearing aid was damaged by the demonstration, according to reports. Are the protesters willing to make restitution to the usher, so he can get his hearing aid repaired or replaced?
Of course Cardinal George agrees with the message of peace. Several reports have also shown that he disagrees with the method in which that protest was delivered.
I still fail to see the point of these folks basically preaching to the choir. Many folks, especially folks in that church, were already against the war. By protesting in this fashion, the protesters have likely turned the more moderate elements of this country against them. Sure, I know there are people who approved of this, but honestly, to rally more people to your cause, you shouldn't go into a church and do what these six did. You need more moderate folks to help your cause, and you alienated them by the protest.
It's good to see folks citing quotes and statistics on here. But, in the words of Samuel Clemens: "There are three types of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics."

More on the jerks who disrupted Easter mass

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised by the level of stupidity and dishonesty that comes across from these asswipes. Take a good look at the links that claim that bail was posted for all of these candidates. There's no independent verification from any of these, just posts by someone called "Holy Name 6."
Sure, that sounds really truthful. Still being unemployed, and having plenty of time between job searching and hoping someone actually calls me, I've checked the Tribune, the Sun Times, the AP and a few other well-known publications. Not a single one has yet stated for the record that any of the six accused posted bail.
Also take into account that the total combined bail for these folks was $160,000, and they needed to post at least 10% of that to temporarily free all six. I know that folks can take out loans, scramble for cash, borrow and such to get that money within a certain amount of time. But this was a pretty big story, and news organizations will trip over themselves to be the first to bring any update on a story to the public. Wouldn't the Trib post a small blurb on this?
Anyhoo, these clowns have written an op-ed piece calling for Cardinal George to forgive them and for the city to drop all charges against the six. I agree with the forgiveness, but that doesn't mean that they shouldn't stand trial for what they've done. "Render unto Caeser...", and so on.
If you want to burst a vein in your forehead, please, continue reading what these nuts say.
Also, here's a response from me to their propaganda. I'm sure it'll get deleted, but I like to have fun at others' expense:
Please. The six suspects got exactly what was coming to them, and have more coming still.
You people claim you want peace through reason, yet you use violence to accomplish your means. Sure, no one died or was seriously injured, but you violated the worshippers' rights by doing what you did. You used terror to make your point. Disrupting the service was inherently violent. Spraying what at the time was an unknown substance on others at the church was inherently violent.
Perhaps I should be able to do the same thing to you. I know! I'll rub dog crap all over you in a symbolic gesture of showing the world that you're full of it.
But hey, you won't get hurt by it. By your logic, that makes it acceptable, right? Right?
Right.
Martyrs are people who died for worthwhile causes. If these six had died, they'd be up for a Darwin award.
But, you don't care about this anyway. All you'll do is keep believing your own propaganda, never bothering to see that things aren't always as black and white as you make them out to be.

Catholic Schoolgirls in Trouble after interrupting Easter mass

Quick note: I was raised Catholic but no longer go to church on a regular basis, mostly out of laziness.
Anyway, when I heard about this, I was disgusted. Easter Sunday is the holiest day in the church calendar, and for these assholes to disrupt the service in this fashion just pisses me off.
Please, don't get me started on any first amendment/freedom of speech stuff. Trust me, the clowns who've littered message boards on this have all claimed that what these mooks did is protected speech.
Thing is, the first amendment also includes the freedom to peaceably practice religion and gather, which the jerks listed in this story interfered with when they decided to pull this stunt.
What really kills me about this group is that they were mad at Cardinal George for meeting with President Bush and Mayor Daley for a luncheon a few months ago. I suppose they equate the lunch with being a Bush sympathizer.
I don't get it. Aren't church leaders supposed to meet with politicians to accomplish whatever they can for the church, and by default, the people of the church? Should church leaders just refuse to sit down with any leader who does something that some obscure group somewhere opposes?
Of course not.
I understand the antiwar sentiment. I understand the need to protest. I don't understand the need to interrupt a service, desecrate a church and assault your fellow man just to get your point across. There was a 70-year-old man, an usher, who was in tears after this happened. He'd suffered from cancer and from what I remember, only recently returned to serve the church. Did he really have to endure that?
Is this kind of stuff really necessary to make people pay attention? Is it really necessary to protest violence by using violence?
At any rate, these folks should get what's coming to them: fines, and hopefully some jail time. They've already spent a night in the clink at 26th and California, and that makes me feel all warm inside. Maybe someone in the jail will be nice enough to throw a blanket party for them.
Protest the war if you want, but don't assault others to get your point across.
Makes you wonder if anyone even takes anything other than the "eye for an eye" message to heart anymore.

It's Their Language, We're Just Borrowing

From BBC Sports Talk Comment Board:

YOU HAVE BEEN WELL AND TRULY STUFFED!

comment by oldninianpark (U8550739)
posted 43 Minutes Ago

cracking grasp of English there numb nuts

A Curious Side Thought

Ever notice how some are wringing our hand about Obama's minister's inflammatory statements without pausing to ask if there's any merit to the assertions?

Statements like this have been said for as long as I can remember, ergo a group of people must deeply believe them.

If the statements were patently untrue, they would be thoroughly discredited and discussion no longer considered. But they are not. They are maintained in a manner that approaches condescention.

If those statements wrong, why do we refuse to challenge them?

Wouldn't you?

Affront

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised that not everyone is a fan. Maybe
he's a little bit disillusioned about D&D? Or he never really did play it..."

http://www.slate.com/id/2186203/?GT1=38001

It's pieces of crap like this guy that make me hate people.

The fact that he has an opinion about gaming does not bug me. Sure, he's a gaming snob. So he prefers GURPS over the d20 D&D system; that's a legit choice. I understand people that make that preference. GURPS, for those that don't know, is an acronym for Generic Universal Role Playing System. In a completely imperfect nutshell, it's like D&D but not restricted to killing orcs and goblins. You could make a game where everyone is a 1920's gangster.

I can even understand the people that dislike D&D. I personally think D&D has gotten out of hand, too many options and ways to play a character that appear to be more ways to fool a DM into letting a player do what they want than working within the system. Too many books, too many alternatives. But I don't hate the game; rather, I let people to their version of the game and I to mine. Everyone is happy.

But his argument goes a step deeper. He expresses anger for the dead man's product, laments what has become of that product, and sneers at the current state of gaming. To read it, you would think that D&D should just shrivel up and die, and that everyone enjoying the games that they do should shake their collective fists in moral outrage because, well, it's just a vehicle for 'hack and slash' gaming. Not just in RPG, but in table top, miniatures, and especially video games. He cries about experience points (the reward that allows a person's character to gain power) being tailored to games of senseless killing, etc.

You know where he's coming from early in his article when he busts out a reference to Star Trek conventioneers having known about (his point) for years.

To this guy, I would wonder if the only games for which he would be happy would be How To Host a Murder and Live Action Role Play. That way we could see how committed he is to his craft, how clever and successful he is in character, and what a fine actor he is.

Bullshit.

There is a place for hack and slash in the world; if there wasn't, it would not have sold nearly as well as it has (Warcraft, Diablo, Oblivion, and these are a small few of the modern titles!). This guy sounds said that his little corner of gaming doesn't get the recognition he believes it deserves, and it's all Gary Gygax's fault. So he'll spit on the grave of a man.

I'm not sainting Gygax by any measure. But hating a man who was first to generate what evolved into virtually every form of modern gaming because you aren't getting your due? That's not sad, it's pathetic. Attitudes like that, when expressed, are what keep gamers in the social basement. That and the bathing thing that some gamers seem to have forgotten.

Please. Be too good for our games. And then do us a favor and shut up. There are more creative people on my side than yours, merely because your article paints virtually the entire gaming community as idiots. Go back and impress people with your 19th century American lexicon. I'm sure that is a big hit amongst the three other people at your parties. I'll go to GenCon instead, where thousands of people enjoy Hack and Slash and laugh and get drunk and give their imaginations a marathon workout for days.

You know, those idiots that play that tired Gygax game.

The Guy Who Asks You To Work On Sunday

I never wanted to be 'that guy.' At first I hated 'that guy,' then I began to understand 'that guy' didn't do it out of spite, 'that guy' didn't want to do it, either... and then I became 'that guy.'
'That Guy' is the person that asks you to work on a Sunday.
I've been working almost every day since I returned on a project that I have no love for and that I would walk away from in a heartbeat. Some people thrive in the intense atmosphere, some people really turn out spectacular work under pressure. I don't know any, but I've heard they exist.
This project has burned through 2/3 of my company, subject one guy to work so hard he hasn't recovered from his flu for over a month. The site is an hour from where I live, and then I get to work 10-12 hours, drive home, sleep, and do it again. The client is using the opportunity to treat us like crap during the entire time. And why not? It's what we get paid for, to take the crap they don't want to or can't give to their own employees.
I'm not even the project manager. But I'm 'in charge' today. So that means I get to make sure people are coming to work on a Sunday. When I interviewed with these people, I said I would work 16 hours a day during the week, but would not work weekends. I'm now working 12 hour days and weekends. Hell, even union employees get two days off every two weeks.
I've worked weekends before, and I've not had a problem with it. This issue isn't about working weekends for me, but the prolonged requirement that I will be needed to work weekends. At least two past this one, possibly more. There's a semi-defined goal, but it shifts hourly during the week. I don't even know if what I'm working on is still legit anymore.
So put yourself in my shoes. You don't want to be there but you know the only way for you to achieve your goal is to be there with as many people as you can muster. Then you get a call. One of the guys scheduled to work Sunday is not coming in. Last minute notice. You make a request that the guy send you the file he's working on in an email. He says no, he won't fill your request, he doesn't understand why he needs to do that. The other guys on the team don't get along and only one is helpful to you.
I let his boss know, and I let his project manager know. It's all I can do.
I know that managment is about getting people to do work. What they don't tell you is that it's more to get them to do work they don't want to do. Motivation. It's hard to motivate people when you are not motivated yourself.
So the next time you are asked to work a weekend, or outside of your normal scope of work, remember the person that asks is only a jerk if they're not in there slogging it out with you.

A sad day for gamers

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/03/04/national/a103425S84.DTL&tsp=1

Not in the article:

Fortunately, once the ritual is complete he will return as a lich with his soul being kept in an enchanted Ball glass jar. His realm, not surprisingly, will blight the life out of Lake Geneva- not that anyone would notice........

or

He didn't really die, he just got trapped in the Astral Plane.

or

He failed his System Shock check (1st ed) / fortitude save (3rd ed).

However you slice it, whether you thought he was a genius or not, a very creative man that started the ball rolling for hundreds of thousands of people to enjoy cheap beer, cheap pizza, rolling non-traditional trinket-like dice, and explore a creative side that the monotony of every day life tries to beat out of you has passed, and now can take his place in legend.

The game passed him by, but without him the game would not have existed.

Cycling, cynicism, etc. Addendum

We have the same phenomenon out here, but in much more rampant form.

See, out here the first four of Maslow's hierarchy of needs are met by most (basic needs, safety needs, psychological needs, and self-actualization).

But to those that suffer from attaining self-actualization, well, hey-- anything goes out here, anything at all!

So when I pursue the following path of logic:
We need to conserve fuel; we should ride bikes; cars should share the road; cars don't share the road; car drivers are jerks; jerks that waste fuel are less than human; I should attack those less-than-humans who drive cars so that maybe they'll realize their error and not drive their cars!

you get things like this!
(pro bikes) http://www.indybay.org/newsitems/2007/05/12/18415019.php
(neutral) http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/05/12/BAGIEPQ4IU69.DTL

(editorial) http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2007/04/04/BAGF7P12RN23.DTL

About Maslow:
http://honolulu.hawaii.edu/intranet/committees/FacDevCom/guidebk/teachtip/maslow.htm

About the bikers:
http://critical-mass.info/

Cycling, cynicism and responsibility

About a week ago, a 29-year-old man died while participating in an unsanctioned, illegal bike race through Chicago. He ran a red light, and some poor guy in an SUV (who had right of way, incidentally) drove into him. You can check the story online at www.chicagotribune.com, or just use a search engine. For some reason, I'm having link problems.
Police didn't charge the SUV driver with anything.
You know, I really can't feel bad about the guy who died. Sure, call me cold and heartless, but the guy was participating in an illegal race and, by the way, ran a red light.
Rules of the road apply to everybody. That's one of the things that infuriates me about this area. Folks familiar with Chicago, especially the yuppie/Lincoln Park aspect of it, will know about the sense of entitlement that so many people seem to have around here. From motorists who cut you off to bikers who swerve between cars to pedestrians who just walk into the middle of the street and expect you to stop for them, it's a recipe for disaster.
I've read some of the online posts about the accident, and am amazed at the level of arrogance and contempt shown by some folks, whether they were motorists or cyclists. No wonder there's so much crap on the road when so many people have an "us against them" mentality.
It seems the race organizers still plan on running more legs in the Tour Da Chicago. I'm not normally a fan of the lawsuit, but I'd really like to see these jerks get fined, put on trial, and sued by the driver of the SUV. They're encouraging a race that's illegal, and through its "competitive spirit," further encourages bikers to deliberately break the law in order to win. This group didn't just their own lives at risk, they put the lives of motorists and pedestrians at risk, just to satisfy their need for an adrenalin rush.
The one person I feel for in this whole thing is the SUV driver. He has to live with the burden of taking a life, even though he wasn't at fault. I hope he's able to get through this.

::edit:: By the sound of it, Chicago police are not going to press charges against the race organizers. One of the few times I want them to bloody someone up, and they just can't. Pity.

::second edit:: I'm gonna crusade to get this guy nominated for a Darwin award. He's worth it.

Things are looking up....?

Despite being in my sixth and hopefully final month of unemployment, job prospects are looking up a bit. Yesterday, I interviewed with Robert Half Technology, and despite some seeming disasters, it still looks like I made a good enough impression for them to at least forward my resume for possible jobs.
Let's count the disasters.
My interview was scheduled for 10 a.m yesterday in Northbrook. My alarm failed to wake me up, so I looked at the alarm clock and swore when I saw the time was 8:55 already.
A quick breakfast, shave and shower later, and I was on my way.
I arrived at the place at 10:05, but had to fill out some paperwork anyway. Turns out I didn't bring the right forms of ID, so I'll have to take care of that later.
Finally, I started talking with the recruiter. He did a pretty good job in making his company stand out from the other headhunters I've dealt with thus far.
Problem is, about halfway through the talk, I realized my fly was down.
I mentally made a note of all the swearing I would do if I weren't in the middle of an interview, consciously moving my tie so it would cover the fly. Not sure if it was noticed or not.
At any rate, I waited for the recruiter to leave the room, then made sure anything that was open was closed for good.
The recruiter then decided now would be a good time for me to take an assessment test. Yay. I endured assessments on Windows and LAN troubleshooting, cursing quietly to myself every time the computer indicated I got a question wrong.
Boy, did I get a lot of stuff wrong.
As luck goes, though, turns out my scores were either average or slightly above average for other folks who had taken the same assessments. Maybe there's hope.
Now, I have to fill out some tax forms for the company, just in case they can get a job for me.
I was also (finally) contacted by another contracting company earlier this afternoon. They forwarded my info to a client, who apparently wants to meet with me tomorrow morning.
Yikes.
Once again, I'll have to bathe, shave and such to make myself at least partially presentable to someone. The job doesn't pay as much as my last one, but it would get me some experience with my Cisco knowledge, which is more what I want at this point.
Hopefully, I can get something soon. There's only so much Springer I can stand.

Inertia, Vacations, and Pressure

"Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it. "
"The relationship between an object's mass m, its acceleration a, and the applied force F is F = ma. "

"For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. "

So said some old dead geezer 321 years ago. Amazingly, he was British.

We had not yet returned from our delayed Christmas vacation when the phone rang. It was my office. They were excited. So excited that they called me up in Hawaii to tell me how great it would be, and how much money 'we' were going to make from loads of night and weekend work, and how I was pivotal to this whole effort, and wow, gosh golly gee wouldn't it be great if I could show up to work on the Sunday I returned from vacation so that I could get right to work?

Let's review the previous laws. I was at rest, a very long, protracted, enjoyable state of rest. I was not ancy about returning to work and 'making a difference.' In a business sense, I had gained mass with a promotion, and an insufficient amount of force was applied to cause acceleration. But the most interesting is always the third. My equal and opposite reaction was to be pissed that my company would call me on vacation to ask me to work on Sunday.

I go through the motions on my return to work. They really did want me up there, they wanted me at this 'exciting' job immediately, and pressured me to drop my other work to go. Never mind that one of these pieces of work was a legal, court-mandated response to a government agency that had to be completed in two days. I communicated this to my company. They chose to ignore it, forget it, or not to care. Another small irritation.

I get to this job, and it is an 'exciting' job: excite \ex*cite"\, v. t. [imp. & p. p. Excited; p. pr. & vb. n. exciting.][L. excitare; ex out + citare to move rapidly, to rouse: cf. OF. esciter, exciter, F. exciter. See Cite.]1. To call to activity in any way; to rouse to feeling; to kindle to passionate emotion; to stir up to combined or general activity; as, to excite a person, the spirits, the passions; to excite a mutiny or insurrection; to excite heat by friction. (Dictionary.net)

Notice how in the definition of this word there is no guarantee of a positive connotation?

The jobsite was in a panic. Vice Presidents were shoving directors, who shoved managers, who shoved their employees. Multiple departments across the company. Something went wrong and it needed to be fixed. It is the job of a "leader" to push people to do things they don't want to do, or so I'm told. I went in with a calm, rested head. I knew the capabilities of all involved. And I walked out of my first meeting on the jobsite almost having quit my company.

Let's revisit. I had overcome my inertia. My entire company placed enough force on me to get me in motion with sufficient acceleration. But the forces, man. My company was, in effect, shoving me over diamond-grit sandpaper into a granite mountain wall. In effect, my company wished to move the mountain of a multi-national corporation. With me. What's the equal and opposite reaction to being broken and crushed?

If I succeed, they get the credit. If I fail, "we" get the axe. No assurances of "your standing with us will not be diminished if we do not achieve this goal." The glib wisecrack more frequently uttered was "you can't put nine women in a room for a month and make a baby."

After a mere 4 days on site, I left for the weekend. I went to Vancouver. I shouldn't have taken my cell. I received a call while sitting at the border crossing to the U.S., and it was a client on the site. He expressed his extreme disappointment with my work. I asked them (singular, intentionally vague) if there was anything I could do to relieve that disappointment right then, which got a 'no.' I told them I would return and address the issue when I returned to work. Then I let my company know about it.

This job has progressed, and the pressure hasn't died. Our company has work around the clock over both of the previous weekends to meet this customer's demands. I'm currently on call, in case there is a revelation and we need to return. No schedule. Our project managment is trying to do what it can with a customer that's behaving like a teenager in puberty. I may need to leave "at a moment's notice" to work for 12 hours. On a Saturday.

Sometimes I wish I didn't have Crohn's, because then I could just drink the pain away.

Now what?

It's been over a month since I got my CCNA certification, and I have yet to even get a job offer. I've been on interviews, sent out resumes and even went to another job fair, but still don't have a job.
Worse yet, I either get the runaround or no answers from the folks I contact for jobs or help finding a job.
A few weeks ago, I made an appointment to get resume and job help from the place I took my Cisco classes. Mind you, this person hadn't even returned my emails. I finally spoke to her, and we set a time and day for the appointment. I even wrote it down. I went to the appointment, only to find out she was still eating lunch. After about a 30-minute wait, she kindly told me that she didn't have me marked down for an appointment that day.
Thing that kills me is, it's her job to help people find jobs. It's not like I didn't talk to her. Makes me wonder how much lazier I could be and still find a job.
From there, I went to an interview at some tech security company. I had a 40-minute phone interview with the place just a few days earlier, so I was stupidly optimistic about my chances, even though the interviewer screwed me over on a troubleshooting question.
So, in the interview, it becomes abundantly clear to me that they're not going to offer the job, and if they did, they'd lowball me on money. I think I stopped trying at that point.
The funniest thing happened when the interviewer's boss, some kind of super salesman, started talking at me. He gave the whole "we want to know you, put a face to a name, serve our clients" spiel. For whatever reason, he started going on about the glory of sales. He then had the nerve to say "sales is all about honesty."
If I didn't fully give up on this interview before, I did at this point.
More recently, I've been applying for contract jobs in the area. Unfortunately, many of them are with my former company, and the company makes former workers wait at least six months before hiring them back in any capacity.
I also applied for some "internship" opportunity. Allegedly, you're supposed to get some good training and money from it, to say nothing of the experience. I did a little research on the company offering these "internships," and it turns out they charge $95 for the application, and apparently used to take 20% of whatever money you made for the first job you got after the "internship."
I didn't go completely through with this application.
Most recently, I was contacted about a contract position with Abbott Labs. I told the recruiter I needed time to think about this, and emailed him back expressing my interest earlier this week. I called him Monday, and he never returned my call. Yesterday, I called him, and he said he was sick, that he'd call me this morning. Haven't heard from him.
You'd think a recruiter would be motivated to make a commission off people. I'd understand if he was really sick, but he said he was home Monday and Tuesday, yet I spoke to him on his office phone Monday.
I know, I should chill on the paranoia.
Still, the whole job search is a pain. Makes me wonder why I stayed in Chicago in the first place.

Cat Fight!

This just cracks me up. I'm easily entertained like that. Audio's required for full humor value, and it's safe for work.

A brief update on my CCNA troubles

Took the test earlier this afternoon.
Passed it by the skin of my teeth.
Am now relieved that I can listen to music in the car instead of hearing the CCNA author over and over and over again, at least until I have to recertify.
It's drinky time.

Boondoggle

boondoggle (boon 'Da gl) noun. 1) work of little or no value done merely to look busy 2) do useless, wasteful, or trivial work wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

"'Boondoggle,' ... a term for a project that wastes time and money"
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boondoggle_%28project%29

One of the reasons that I love my job is the frequency in which I find myself in boondoggles. It's hard to keep a straight face when a customer or client tells you "this is a high profile project" or that the project is on a tight schedule, etc. The number of times I've heard that since I've started "doing what I do" is nearly 1:1 proportional with the phrase "They (upper managment) decided to not utilize this (option)."

This is not, in anyway, a condemnation of those for whom I do the work, either individuals or companies as a whole. It's so consistant it's hard to believe it's anything but procedure. The people who hire me or my company to do work believe the words they are telling me, and my focus in completing the task for which I was hired is no less than it would be if the project were real and destined to make a product. I care about the work I do, and I care very much that the customer/client gets what they want even if it's not strictly defined in a contract. This is a small reason as to why I get repeat business, but one nonetheless.

I've just learned that it's not worth getting frustrated over doing work under a tight deadline, only to have the work tossed out at the end, or even in the middle, of the project.

The latest boondoggle had to do with my last project. The project was for an average piece of industrial equipment, a capital asset but nothing on the lines of a huge air conditioner or such. I was to "work my magic" and make it acceptable for use. The customer is someone with whom I've worked many projects before, and have even driven home when they were drunk and puking out the window of the car. It was business, of course.

The job involved a trip to Europe to start the testing. I used the opportunity to get in a few extra days of vacation around the trip (using personal funds and days, of course) and was ready and acclimated when the rest of the team arrived. The testing was under a tight schedule, and didn't happen in the prescribed time. I had to extend my trip at the site to complete the project at the client's request; they paid for the extension because the problems weren't my fault, but with the equipment.

Deadlines started to shift, and I found myself waiting for periods in order to continue the job when I returned. This wasn't a problem because I had plenty of other work to do- but the delays are the first sign of an impending boondoggle. When someone is driving a project with a whip, saying it needs to be done "now, now, now," only to see the deadline slip a couple of times... it's not a telltale sign but it is one piece of the deductive puzzle.

I conducted the first round of testing at the facility in the States and as I went to wrap up the conclusions- everything was fine with the equipment- I was told that the equipment was no longer the desired option for moving the project forward. To put this in perspective, the customer authorized $60k for my work, figuring at least $200k for the company's individuals involved with the project, and $100k on the equipment itself... all for something that would sit in a warehouse to collect dust until a suitable use is found, at which point it would require another $250k to get it up and running again.

All I could do was laugh.

You may be sitting there thinking, "Where does the money for that kind of foolishness come from?" Well, it comes from two places- one is the deep pockets of the client, who needs to bank on multiple options in order to move forward with the best single option. The other is you, the purchaser of products. If you need to purchase their products, you give them the money to fund boondoggles. And all of these boondoggles born of options that never panned out exist because my clients fear lawyers and the government.

You can try and fix it, make it more efficient- ironically enough, part of our service is the implementation of cost-cutting measures- but lawyers always win in the end. Oh well. At least I'm getting paid.

Unemployment, certifications and settling

I'm now in my fourth month of unemployment. The boredom is bad enough, but then there's the scrambling to find another job, not hearing any offers, and wondering where my next check (once the unemployment runs dry) will come from.
As Dan mentioned, I've been studying for my Cisco certification. I completed a course, and twice scheduled taking the exam, only to panic and reschedule it. Hopefully, I'll pass it on the 17th.
I've done pretty well on some practice tests for the exam. Problem is, those tests were for a recently retired exam. By recently, I mean that Cisco was retiring the old test and implementing a new one right about the time I started my class.
Lucky me.
I really should spring for practice tests for the new exam. It'll cost me, but ultimately, I think it'll cost me more if I don't pass the test the first time.
Unemployment sure has given me a lot of time to wonder where the hell I went wrong. Don't get me wrong, I wondered that even when I had a job. That's a dangerous thing, though. At least while I was working, I had something I could do, even if it was deal with cranky field techs. I was part of an organization that maintained cellular network quality, and I think I did a pretty decent job of it.
I've seen what happens to folks when they lose their jobs and don't get another job quickly. It's a demeaning, degrading process that saps hope and energy. I've really felt the frustration more recently and done some second-guessing. I know, it doesn't change my circumstance, but there's times I can't help but wonder.
Ideally, I'd like to get a job either related to telecom or to IT once I get the CCNA certification. Thing is, I don't know what I'd do if I fail. To be honest, I don't really want to plan for failure. Failure sucks.
I'm at the point where I'd at least like to get the money I was making when I lost my job, but reality and the economy tell me there's a fair chance that won't happen, even with a shiny new certification. So, I guess I have to ask myself, what will I settle for?
I really don't want to "settle" for anything. I'd like to have my choice of good offers and pick the one I like best.
Somehow, I don't think that'll happen.
Happy New Year.

I Attack The Darkness

So I'm going to run a role-playing game online, posting via a message board. It's with a few guys with whom I liked to 'game' when I lived in Illinois... in fact, gaming with them was so much fun, I didn't really want to give it up when I moved.

Yes. I approch being one of the biggest nerds alive.

I am shameless on this. I'm actually more proud than anything. Hardcore scientist, can quote the Holy Grail, better than average knowledge of computers, went to school forever and loved math, worked for a decade with lasers, paint miniatures, work for an electrical engineering company, and play D&D and all sorts of other D&D types of games. And that's just one small facet of me.

I also like a good white wine sauce with seafood.

Most of you, if you didn't know this about me, haven't really been paying much attention. Anyway, I'm sidetracked. The game. It's in a game system under which I've never played, nor have the players I think. It allows me to tell a story while getting direct input from a small group of others. It just so happens that this group of others can get me in stiches from laughter. It's all any of us can do to run the game while incorporating the wisecracks.

I wish I could translate it for you, but if you don't speak dork or nerd the nuance would be lost on you. And the humor is in the details. It would take forever to explain a simple phrase that causes a grin. Much in the same way that, at least for those of you that speak geek, saying "Leeeeeeeeroy Jenkins!!" elicts a feeling of knowing something really, REALLY funny.

http://www.leeroyjenkins.net/leeroy-jenkins-videos.htm

Such is the nature of the title of this post. The default manner in which someone may find themselves playing a game of this nature is to attack everything that breathes, and to eschew the subtlety of social interaction. Most people know that there is a significant amount of dice rolling involved with the game, with several creative three-dimensional baubles; the four-sided pyramid, eight-sided octahedron, ten-sided, twelve-sided, and twenty-sided icosahedral dice all accompany the ubiquitous six-sided cube. They are hackers and slashers, and they are the stage at which many of the cranially-inactive throw their hands up and say "D&D is for nerds." Yet they usually proceed to lose their money at craps tables, playing the role of "sap" for the casino, and this is socially acceptable.

The beauty of the games are that you help to determine the outcome, and that there is rarely a set course on which the game must travel. As a player, you are reading an interactive book, out loud, with others and trying to accomplish something. The most fun is when somebody thinks of something that no one else has, a thought that twists the mind just enough that you may have touched a place in the creative universe that is new, vibrant, and worthy of contemplation.

It is a place where the seeds of genius are reaped.

That may be a bold, possibly even an arrogant statement to be sure. But part of the element of genius isn't the acquirement of knowledge, but the application of knowledge- in other words, wisdom. It's wisdom that allows you to do things that others may not have thought to do, and that is a path with unending promise.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to running my game. If this sounds semi-interesting to you and you want in, send me an email. The guys are very friendly, and who knows- you may actually like it.

The Other Guy

The other poster's been cramming for a CISCO certification, and is holed up in a cave, much like Gollum, eating fried cheese puffs and burning his retinae on practice tests.

Or maybe it's a SISQO test and I misunderstood. Whatever, he'll be back.

Promotion

I never went into my job thinking I would be promoted into the management level.

I thought about when it would happen, and it was a bit down the road. When we had kids. And a house, and a lawn and such. I just didn't feel like that guy, the half-dead, humorless, everything-is-corporate guy who seems eerily distant for one reason, and that is his title. But here I am. Today, at our annual winter staff meeting, I will be announced as the Director of Quality for my company.

And I'm scared out of my socks about it.

The mood changed instantly when I found out. I was flabbergasted, I was certain that they would find an outsider to hire, to bring in to handle the duties. But there I was, looking at the organization chart with our operations executive, and him pointing to the quality director spot and saying "we're thinking of moving you here." Flattered, in disbelief, amazed, and humbled, I agreed to the move.

I asked for it, in a sense. In my performance reviews, I'm routinely asked for goals, and what I would like to accomplish. I set my goals high but not back-breakingly so, goals that may with just the right amount of effort be 'do-able.' Even then, I don't expect anything. This year I was asked what I'd like and I said "I would eventually like to be billable to overhead." For those unfamiliar, "billing to overhead" means not working directly on a project with tangible output but getting paid anyway- managers and support staff are in this category. I have been directly billable since I started doing my job, and it makes sense. "You did X, so you get the payment we agreed upon." That is now supplimented.

When I broke the news to two lunch friends, the car got really quiet. There were congratulations, but then the real sentiment was dropped: "Guess you can't go out to lunch with us anymore."

I don't want to be that guy! (stomps his feet and pouts, says repeatedly) I don't want to be that guy! I don't want to be that guy! I don't want to be that guy!

Perhaps my childish protests are in vain. After all, I may choose to do what I want. But common lore seems to promote this idea of separation of management and workforce, that you can't mingle heavily with the people you may have to fire, you can't show favortism, and so on. And don't you want to get to know the managment better, anyways?

Truthfully? I don't really care. I work with good people. Top to bottom, they are all good people. I won't have any direct reports, and I won't be hiring any. I'm not the boss of the people I used to work with, and he's just as likely to chum around with his employees as I would be. If I'm invited to a high end lunch, I'll accept it. If it becomes more frequent, I'll turn them down.
But the fear comes from the expectations, the shift in job focus, the shift in responsiblities. I don't know if I can do what they put in front of me. (The peanut gallery laughs, because to them I've done everything that's been put in front of me.) I'm my own harshest critic, and the worst thought I have is having a critic that's in charge of me that's harder on me than I am. The reason is simple. If the critic is harder on me than I am on myself, then there's outside chance that I just don't care enough to achieve to the critic's level.

It's time, I think, to try to blaze a new trail- my trail, the one where I do things my way and accept the consequences of my decisions. It's the way I try to live already, so what I'm really saying is I will fight any attempts to change me from the me I am right now. It's what got me promoted, after all.

Brown Paper Packages

For those of you that give or receive Christmas gifts around this time of year, the discussion I'm having here will sound mundane. It's odd, in a way, that I hadn't really thought about this until now. But the situation being what it is... well, instead of rambling on in a psuedo-justification, I'll just get on with it.

Living 'out here' means that our gifts don't come at first glance as if they have been part of 'the ritual.' You understand what that ritual is- you buy a gift you think or believe someone will like, lay it before you, then cover it in a wrapping. This wrapping may be simple, but usually tends to towards the extravagant and may even have accessories and other doo-dads and trinkets. The wrapping is cut just so, the tape applied with as much precision as one can muster, and the extras such as ribbons and bows added with a flourish. Heck, even throwing the gift in a bag can't be done without colored tissue, a colored or patterned bag, and a tag on it.

The first time I had ever seen the sensible gift wrap really, truly abused was by the other guy that's writing in this column. It was delivered as a gift, but with such disdain it actually made me laugh for the juxtaposition. (The recipient expected it, so it wasn't considered offensive.) The gift was wrapped in newspaper, with an occasional layer of tape- it required effort to open. I made him pay later for his savagery by presenting him with a gift as such, delivered with more stealth. He appreciated it- or at least his near hyper-ventilating laughter lent me to believe as such- as he ripped through the fifth layer of duct tape and newspaper, only to find a sixth. All that for a video game.

Receiving a gift that has been treated via 'the ritual' means it therefore must be addressed through yet another, separate 'opening' ritual. You receive the gift, usually on Christmas day but whatever day that has been designated as a gift exchange day is acceptable. It is suggested that you appreciate the efforts of the first ritual in order to follow rules of courtesy (frequently ignored by ravenous materialistic youth). Once appreciated, light banter may take place that usually hints at feigning either an attempt to guess what the gift is or looked bemused and present that the opener has no idea what it could possibly be (again, often ignored). Only then may the gift be opened and inspected for acceptance. Hilarity then ensues. Oops, I meant appreciation then must be displayed, unless the gift was odd, unwelcome, or just weird. The uncomfortable reaction that, contrary to belief, is very much a part of the ritual must be also treated with social grace lest bad karma befall the recipient/opener.

The gifts I receive now come through UPS, FedEx, or the Postal Service, and there are no festive colors. No 'just-so' taping. No bows or ribbons. Instead, they're brown cardboard boxes, with a dull mailing label, and they look rather industrial. Decorated boxes aren't good for shipping, they say. You can't wrap things and send them, it's too great a security risk; I do understand that and that's not a problem. Coming home to see a pile of brown cardboard, some re-used, some with logos but most without, it reminds me of the distance between me and my family.

You may be sitting there and saying "Well, just open them and see if they're wrapped!!"

I would, but I do not have confidence that they are, infact, wrapped at all. The result would be Christmas gifts that would be opened and known prior to Christmas, which violates the second opening ritual. It's a risk I'm not willing to take.

So remember, when you are sitting with your families or friends and partaking in these rituals, that not everyone that receives gifts can partake in the traditions. Do remember the family and friends you wish you could be with because they are the ones that make you feel generous and bring out the better part of you not just now, but all year-round. Consider that I may be close to you from 2,500 miles away, yet the person that is farthest from you on this planet may live right next door. And if you're lucky enough to see the full moon on the night of the 24th and 25th, know that I can see it too and that we're not that far apart at all.

Best. Commercial. EVER.

Mmmm....toasty.

'A' Case for 'a' Case

“Oh no, there’s a computer problem.”

Normally said at an office, this sentence causes panic in most people. I work in an environment with employees that are… more technically skilled on average than most places, like, say, Dunder-Mifflin. I may be Dwight sans beet farm. I work for an automation engineering company. You might say the staff is good with computers.

But when something happens, even the employees are obligated- nay, required- to enlist the services of the dreaded IT department. These exchanges are usually comical to the IT staff, who have people walk through the troubleshooting kiddie-step by kiddie-step. I am infuriated at the pace of troubleshooting mostly because of the near condescending tone of the IT help staff, and frustrated that I can’t do this myself.

But a group of tech-savvy people, well, they may be able to solve the problem if they communicate well and have the system in front of them. Maybe. If they know how things work.
So our remote worksite, one at a client’s campus and not our home site, has been moved from time to time with relatively little effort. We use a wireless modem to conduct our internet business, thus avoiding the threat of attacking the client’s oh-so-secure network superstructure while being able to perform our day-to-day requirements. But from time to time, our IT department feels the need to perform an upgrade. This has happened twice and has been more disruptive to work than the four moves we have encountered.

What prompted the most recent disruption? We switched wireless modems.

If a computer is not programmed appropriately it doesn’t work, so sayeth the “garbage in, garbage out” edict. Technically a problem doesn’t really occur with the computers themselves. Most of the time, it’s what you told it that causes the errors. We got into that situation with the new modem, but we had to call IT first.

We understood the status of the machines, and we could describe what the problem was: the DHCP router wasn’t assigning an IP address. IT, however, doesn’t operate that way. They start from the beginning and reaffirm step-by-step what may or may not be the problem. The downside to that is that if you understand what’s going on and can tell them, they are required to do the same spiel. I was on the phone for two hours before the IT person said to me:

“Huh. So the DHCP router isn’t assigning an IP address. I wonder why?”

Through trial and error, the engineers managed to solve the problem. We also managed to find the source of the error. Instead of having a security key of 123ac456789, we were typing in a security key that was 123AC456789. Robots and droids worldwide titter with glee at the humor. The net cost was 48 man-hours lost to solving the problem. Over a week’s worth of work, because the IT person didn’t say “lower case ‘a’,” but just “type in ‘A’.” It wasn’t the IT person’s fault for thinking we were entering characters in the appropriate case. It wasn’t our fault for not specifying the case of the letter.

It’s almost always the thing you take for granted in communication that is the critical failure path.